The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

The Cure for What Ails You

Hey there trend trackers. Do you have Trend Fever? Well, maybe you should consider checking out or checking up on our latest trendly health helper…doctors! As far back as March of 2008, the only way one could hope to cure seemingly harmless ailments like influenza, herpes or complications from diabetes was through the miracle of prayer. Unfortunately for most human beings, God decided to stop answering their prayers some time between the first genocide and the aforementioned date. Occasionally and quite luckily for a few human beings, Saint Peter would sometimes perform at the level of a second string goalie and allow a few errant prayers to slip through his five-hole known as the pearly gates, leaving his holiness to deal with a semi-constant barrage of heavenly errands. It was because of St. Peter’s inability to deflect these prayer pucks that his/her holiness made a landmark decision, rather than cope with this onslaught of hopes and wishes from his loyal subjects, the Lord decided he/she would delegate some responsibility…and on that day god created “doctors.”

God gave these “doctors” the means to deal with aches, pains, disease and sickness, and to make up for their lack of divinity he endowed them with what is known as a “God Complex”, which was beautifully illustrated by Alec Baldwin’s character in the film Malice. Unfortunately, for the human race, becoming a doctor requires nearly 34 years of education and therefore there are currently no official doctors. The first doctor is set to become eligible to help the public after the Spring semester at Johns Hopkins lets out sometime in May 2019. Until that day, people can see just what these “doctors” may be capable of doing by watching trendy Science Fiction programs such as “E.R.”, “Dr. Who”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, and of course the previously noted film, Malice. Who knows? Maybe by watching some fake doctors, you’ll get some real friendly health tips. How trendly!

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April 2, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Health, Religion | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Electric Slide

Hey Trend Fans, Welcome to the Wide World of Trendliness. You might as well call me your Trendly neighborhood Trendcaster, Howard Trendsell…or not… Either way, I’m still going tell you about what is currently all the rage. So far we’ve given you the low down on everything from beverages to ways to get that total slut best friend of yours to tell you how far she went on her date last night, even if she might not be so keen on sharing the news. Well, today at the Trendliest we are not going to pull a total 180 degree turn so much as we’re going to do a triple salchow to land us in the realm of Sport.

Yes indeed, sports are certainly a friendly trend to all beings. They’re not just for straight men who like knocking each other around on and off of the fields of play as well as in the locker room. Sports are for everyone. One sport in particular that has caught our eye aside from curling (we love to sweep) is the doubles luge. Not only is doubles luge trendy because of its sleek and stylish form fitting suits and the speed at which the sled travels, but also because it’s a socially acceptable alternative to gay marriage.

While the Catholic Church may not approve of two people of the same sex laying together in sin, they can usually say nothing but, “go team” when it comes to two people of the same sex…their bodies intertwined with bulging genitalia pressed against one another, sliding down a curved mountain track at thrilling speeds as the participants experience an overly exhilarating rush unlike anything else in the world. Doubles Luge…it involves all the trendy aspects of a homosexual relationship and it’s Catholic Church friendly. Plus, in no state in the Union is it illegal to form a doubles luge team. You can’t get more trendly than that! Luge away!

April 2, 2008 Posted by | Religion, Sexuality | , , , , , | 1 Comment