The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Prank’d: Be Like Ashton!

Hello my band of trendly tricksters, are you having a laugh? No? Well that’s too bad. Are you sad because your significant other was in a horrible train accident today and your apartment just burned down? What, nobody told you? We’re just kidding. That’s what we here at The Trendliest call a prank…and it’s the hottest new way to get a hearty har-har out of friends and family, but mostly out of yourself.

Pulling a prank is easy. There are only a few simple steps. First, think of a friend, enemy, frenemy, or group you want to make feel bad. Second, think of something to do that would absolutely eliminate that person or group’s dignity and/or crush their soul. Third, enact a plan including either bombs, children, or other celebrities (sometimes all three) to temporarily crush their soul and/or erase their dignity. Next, watch said person or group lose their dignity while reacting to this potentially horrific occurrence by bursting into tears or reacting in a manic nature. Finally, announce to your friend, enemy, frenemy or group that they’ve been “punk’d” or that the event that has crushed their soul indeed never occurred or that at least part of what you said wasn’t true, thus sending a great sense of relief to said prankee, though never fully restoring their dignity. There, you’ve pranked someone. Wasn’t it fun and or trendy?

Carson Palmer: Leader of Trojans, Destroyer of Spartans

While Pranking is currently trendly, some times it can go horribly awry. One of the first pranks was held way back in the time of the Trojan War (otherwise known as the 2002 GMAC Humanitarian Bowl) when the USC Trojans led by then Quarterback Carson Palmer entered the Spartan arena by occupying a wooden horse that was then left outside the Michigan State University stadium, which their opponents then mistook as a gift and brought it onto the field of battle. However, once inside the East Lansing stadium, Palmer and company ritualistically slaughtered their opponents with a precision passing attack, clock eating run game, and harrowing defense by a score of 48-3, thus winning the Trojan War…and leaving plenty of blood, pain, and humiliation in their wake.

Those Poor, Unfortunate Michiganders

Ashton Kutcher: Trendliest Hero

Indeed, while most pranks end in horrible tragedy due to the fact that they never reach that aforementioned “final step”, as evidenced by the efforts of extremist religious groups like Al Qaeda and shows like “Candid Camera”, one man has mastered the art of stripping people of their dignity and then giving it back to them in small pieces so that over time they may one day hope to be a shell of their former selves. That man is Ashton Kutcher. His hit show “Punk’d” shows famous people crying because their fancy cars have been smashed even though they haven’t and it makes us all laugh, which is the original point of pulling the prank in the first place…and what’s more trendly than coming full circle.

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April 11, 2008 - Posted by | Celebrities, Methods | , , , , , , , , ,

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