Looking For Love In All The Right Places
Hey you hopeless trend-mantics. Are you looking for love in all the wrong places like the condom aisle in the Rite-Aid or the Lenny Kravitz region of your local music store? Have you fallen head over heels only to have the back of your skull hit the sidewalk and leave you with a nasty grade three concussion? Well, shake it off because at least you’re looking…and looking for love is one of the latest trendly social undertakings worth participating in.
Way back in the 70’s only high profile athletes and world champion chest hair growers could look for love on shows like “The Dating Game” and “Are We Making Whoopee Yet?” thanks to the greatest matchmaker there ever was, Wink Martindale. In the 1980’s finding true love was way unimportant. Tina Turner was asking what love had to do with anything and the guys in Foreigner didn’t even know what love was. Turns out everyone was too xenophobic to clue them in.
Now that it’s the 2000’s…the art of falling in love has completely evolved, making it totally friendly and trendy. Even the most undeserving of average people who just happen to look good naked can look for love and find it almost instantaneously by using the platform of the personalized dating show. Using this method, the person seeking love invites thirty people into their house for two weeks and makes out with all of them unless they’re fat…chosing to “do” only a select few. A camera crew films the proceedings to insure that all participants maintain their dignity and act with charm and grace. At the end of the honorable proceedings the winner of the love competition then does a shot of tequila and marries he or she whom was originally looking for love. They obviously live happily ever after and neither attempts to gain more fame, being completely satisfied with their new lover for the rest of their life. However, they do not completely opt out of the spotlight as the physical consummation of these TV bred relationships is usually a live televised event, often viewed by millions of viewers who are totally into watching married people getting it on.
For some reason, not all people choose the personalized dating show angle and opt for more private potential partner explorations. Two acceptable avenues for shut-ins who don’t know how to communicate whilst clothed and might need a computer to tell them that they should meet in public are Eharmony.com and WereTheSameReligionLetsScrew.com. The latter is a site aimed at people who want to sit naked in the computer room and pray together without the complication of their own opinions getting in the way. Also, with Wink Martindale out of the picture, who better to help you find love than the lord (or Chuck Woolery)?
So whether you have a hankering for the spotlight…or like to type by the lamplight…rest assured there’s always a trendly way to look for love…now get out there and find love so you can give it away. It’s trendlier to give than receive…but if someone gives it to you first you have to reciprocate. Them’s the rules.
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The Trendliest is your friendly guide to latest trends. If you need to know what’s hop, hot, or now…well then you’ve got to read it. Not only is The Trendliest friendly and trendy, but it’s also satirical. So, if you find yourself easily offended by the content, there is a good chance that you are either silly, hyper-sensitive or Canadian. Lighten up Canucks.
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