Coming Out Of The Woodwork
Whether or not you consider yourself a member of Generation X, Generation Y, The MTV Generation, or The Generation that really hates to be labeled with letters; if you’re under the age of 40, odds are that you’re currently lumped into a new generation known as the Social Networking Generation. Ever since the dawn of Friendster sometime around 2003, it’s been totally trendy to have a digital space to show all of your friends how many other friends you have just in case you want to make them jealous that you might have other people to hang out with besides them or if you want your other friends to find someone attractive within your group of friends that they don’t know that they may want to have unprotected sex with and/or fall in deep like with.
Aside from the glory that comes along with showing off the fact that you are semi-acquainted with more than 116 people, there are some thrilling occurrences that go along with Social Networking. Perhaps the biggest thrill comes from a group of Social Networkers which we here at The Trendliest call the “Woodworks”. The “Woodworks” are the group of people from your past who you may have met in school or perhaps during a boating accident that come seemingly out of nowhere or from the deep recesses of the forest known as the Internet to declare that you are indeed friends with them despite having been out of your life for somewhere between ten to fifteen years. While there are a decent portion of these so-called “Woodworks” that are recognized as welcome additions, many of them might as well go back to existing in the vacuum where they came from.
So why do they do it? Why do these “Woodworks” feel the need to re-establish contact with your metaphorical mission control? Maybe they’re hoping to rekindle a long dormant friendship or rehash some of the good ol’ times. While those possibilities sound marginally fantastic, chances are they just want to add you to their impressive roster of people they sort of know, but aren’t planning on speaking to or getting together with any time soon. No matter how curious you are about their well being or their whereabouts…all you are to them is a personal ornament on display for their own popularity’s sake that they can occasionally spy on.
This begs the question, why even accept woodworks into your social networking circle? Well, trendly Internet denizen, while there is no positively concrete answer to this query, there are certain acceptable responses; the first being that becoming friends with a “woodwork” may arouse enough curiosity in said person that they might see fit to rediscover your once unbreakable bond. However, the most popular reason for acceptance of said netquaintances is the hope that adding them to your friend roster will result in a future hand job or awkward sexual encounter made possible by a binge drinking outing.
Yes, the Social Networking Era…has blessed us with many gifts. We have the ability to play Scrabulous with our friends online or digitally “poke them” when we’re not physically trying to poke them. However, one thing still persists and that’s the “Woodworks”. Nary a day goes by when someone doesn’t come out of the woodwork to say, “Hey Trendliest, we were friends once…let’s be friends and ignore each other just like old times.” Yes, friendship with absolutely, positively no commitment necessary. Now that’s what we call trendly!
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