Spice Up Your Summer!
Hey trendly parentals, are you looking for the a reasonable summer vacation idea, but you don’t want to have to go far from home and you certainly don’t want to have to take the kids? What if we told you that you and your spouse could have the vacation of a lifetime without ever leaving your house? Actually, you’ll have to leave three times. Once when you drive your children to the sleepaway camp bus, once on visiting day (optional), and once when you pick them up from the bus. Yes, sending your child away to sleepaway camp is the hottest trend in parental leisure next to joining a swingers club in your local metropolitan area.
Shipping your kids to sleepaway camp not only is a great way to teach your little ones vital social and athletic skills, but it’s also a wonderful way to get rid of them for an entire two months so you can finally fulfill that bizarre sexual fantasy you and your spouse have of “doing it” on their bed. While you’re at it you can even work the kitchen and the washing machine into the mix as well. After all, no one’s around to find you out about your sexual proclivities provided you don’t feel the need to broadcast it by starting your own adult website.
While little Timmy and Terry are kicking the soccer ball around, singing fun songs, learning swear words from counselors and taking their first steps towards sexual discovery by going on social raids and taking turns reading aloud from Penthouse Forum; parents can take comfort in knowing that for an entire eight weeks their children won’t be scarred by any memories of walking in on daddy wearing a ball gag or seeing mommy with a whip and a double-sided vibrating dildo…unless of course they find the sordid photos and/or videotape of the event haphazardly laying around the house come Autumn.
While the end of Summer may seem bittersweet as the arrival of your children ultimately calls into effect a coitus interruptus, at least you can finally go back to being a loving parent. Though it may take a couple of weeks to regain your physical parenting capabilities on account of the lingering soreness from the two months worth of sexual intercourse. You know what they say, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and being a stronger parent is certainly on top of the list of that which is friendly and trendy.
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