Marching To Selma
Why hello there residents of Trend York City. Does your 40-hour-a-week job as an architect and second job selling hot roasted nuts barely net you enough money to keep that roof over your head and your tummy full of top ramen? Perhaps your current place of residence doesn’t allow for the suitable quality of life that usually comes commensurate with your salary. Maybe you’re looking for a cheaper locale in which you can get your career moving, settle down with a wife and 4.3 children, or just be a hip urban youngster enjoying the prime of your youth.
Well, if one of those three things sounds like what you’re after….then we’ve got just the place for you to realize your American Dream. We here at Trendliest reckon you should be headed for a place where your money will go miles further than most other urban areas… a place like Selma, Alabama.
Not only is this southern city located on the muddy banks of the Mississippi, a historical landmark, but the “Butterfly Capital of the World” is practically begging to be gentrified….by you! If you’ve been living in a bubble…or Selma, Alabama and have no idea what gentrification is, it’s the process whereby young socially tolerant, upwardly-mobile (not Mobile, Alabama) white people take up residence in urban areas occupied largely by minorities and force that area’s minorities out by opening watering holes with indie-rock jukeboxes so that other young, hip, white people might feel comfortable should they decide to move to said town.
Yes there’ll plenty to do in Selma, Alabama once you’ve moved there and opened a record store or co-founded a blog about being a big city transplant in the deep south that will be read by a wide variety of northeastern hipsters who enjoy laughing at the differences they have with people less fortunate than them. This will naturally lead to a lucrative book deal and a film franchise starring the enchanting Reese Witherspoon.
While acclimating yourself to your new southern surroundings you should also have the opportunity to fight off advances from the local Ku Klux Klan chapter who will no doubt try to initiate you into their organization or even re-enact Martin Luther King Jr.’s historic March on Selma by driving your Prius back and forth in between there and Montgomery.
If all of that activity is not your speed, you can just stay home and sit on the porch enjoying that beautiful southern scenery while ironically listening to “Sweet Home Alabama” on your iPod whilst wearing a confederate flag t-shirt. Now if movin’ your hide down to Selma, Alabama don’t sound trendly to you, maybe we’re just whistlin’ dixie.
No comments yet.