Hello trendly investors. Are you down in the dumps both literally and figuratively due to the recent stock market woes. Well, stop scrounging around for meal scraps, it’s time you got out of the gutter and lifted yourself up by your bootstraps. Because you’re going to have to be on your feet in order to catch the gravy train for our next friendly career trend, being a hobo. Ladies and gentlemen fill up your bindles, slip a harmonica into your back pocket and dip your face in the mud, because you’re about to do some hard travellin’… by boxcar.
Thanks to the subprime mortgage crisis and the dow’s inevitable drop to zero come christmas time, another great depression is imminent. So with that in mind, we here at the Trendliest see no better recourse than to get a head start on reliving those glory days when you could buy a prostitute and a meal for a nickel but couldn’t find the nickel to get you that elusive meal and prostitute.
Back in the Depression everyone from average Joes to Hollywood stars such as Rutger Hauer were hopping aboard freight trains sans tickets to traverse the country in search of an honest days work and two scoops of Raisin Bran. These Hobos as they were called weren’t just normal hardscrabble bums. Their lives were full of romance, intrigue, and music. As toothless vagrants, they wandered the countryside taking advantage of the robber baron railroad pioneers lack of caboose security, all the while maintaining a sense of optimism at the expense of oral hygiene. The hobos weren’t normal homeless that simply begged from the comfort of their cardboard boxes in the comfort of their big cities. They got to visit all types of interesting places like Tulsa, Muskogee, and Cedar Rapids while begging for food. The hobo was a doer thus a suitable model for those soon to be unemployed rascals rarin’ to find their next pay check, whether they earn it from shovelin’ manure or serving as the assistant of a big entertainment movie writer like Richard Corliss of Time magazine.
Yes, if you hop on the trend of being a hobo, soon enough you’ll be able to relate even better to your great parents because you’ll be living just like they did in the olden days. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll even stumble on that “Big Rock Candy Mountain.” Hopefully the rock they are talking about is cocaine…and you can sell it so you don’t have to be a hobo anymore.
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