Have you been “Rick-rolled” one too many times? Do you have a not-so-secret longing to get back at those who have tricked you into knowing that they’re never gonna give you up, let you down, run around and desert you? While it may be a nice sentiment for your friends to repeatedly promise that they’re never going to make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie and hurt you; the fact that they made you sit through a Rick Astley video says otherwise. At least they could’ve had the common decency to switch it up every once in a while with the “Together Forever” video.
Well, if you’re in the market for some sugar-coated pop culture revenge, look no further than the 1980’s beer commercial soundtrack goodness that is the music of Steve Winwood. That’s right, “Rick rolling” is out and “Winwooding” is the latest friendly trend in ironic Internet trickery.
Before the salad days of Rick Astley, Steve Winwood enjoyed a long fruitful career as a valid and profitable musician, playing in bands like Blind Faith and Traffic, before settling down into his ultimate legacy as 1980’s easily listening pop/rock with songs that reminded us that by rolling with it and drinking Michelob Light, the finer things would indeed keep shining through.
Well that was a long time ago and the Winwooder looks primed for a comeback of sorts, even if it’s not quite of Astley-esque proportions. The stage was set for such an event during the pre-game concert for Super Bowl XLIV when an early-arriving, unsuspecting throng of Football fans got Winwooded prior to both teams taking the field.
With his performance prowess fresh on the brains of the media savvy, there’s never been a friendlier, trendier time to “Winwood” someone by linking them to this video. So we here at The Trendliest recommend you do it now, before everyone starts Bruce Hornsby-izing you.
Rise and shine friendly and trendy alcohol imbibing Americans, a new day has dawned for our way of life. When you woke up yesterday there were three branches of Government:The Legislative, The Executive, and The Judicial; However, today when you looked out your window at the summer sun you could probably sense something was different.
That slight difference is that one third of those branches is no longer with us. Despite the nomination and subsequent confirmation of Supreme Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor, the Judicial system is now obsolete. While “the bar” may technically still exist it now refers to the place where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you got arrested, thanks to the latest trend in settling legal disputes, “The Beer Summit.”
With the recent advent of the first Beer Summit, in which President Obama settled the issue of whether or not Henry Louis Gates was guilty of breaking into his own house by simply inviting the Harvard Professor and his arresting officer to discuss the charges and the racial strife caused by said charges over a beer; overnight it has become customary to settle all disputes in this manner.
Now there’s a brand of justice that both tastes great and is less filling (of our overcrowded prisons). Whether or not you’ve been wrongfully accused of murder or simply pulled over for driving under the influence, you’ll be faced with two options: One, you could put on a suit and be tried by a jury of your peers; or two, you could down a few with your accuser and effectively reach an understanding in a flurry of four beers. The latter option is certainly less costly than one of those money grubbing lawyers and it helps promote understanding of not only the difference between the accused and the accuser, but also between lagers and IPA’s.
While the court system will still exist in a limited role for those totally boring members of Alcoholic’s Anonymous there will be limited need for Judges and lawyers (hooray!) as the only remaining courthouses will be located in towns named “Justice” in the states of Illinois, Wyoming, North Carolina, Oklahoma and Kentucky. The Supreme Court will also be replaced by the United States Council of Wise Bartenders, which may or may not consist of the current members of the Supreme Court provided they pass bartending school in time for the fall session.
So cheers to the friendly, trendly new way of solving our problems and if you don’t like it…well then this Bud’s for you. Now if only we could get Iran and North Korea to the beer table.
Greetings waders in the sea of the latest friendly fads. Have you been busy over the winter keeping your limbs limber by filling out forms and stretching your stamina with spreadsheets? Well, we hope you’ve been practicing your trendstroke, because without it your likely to drown in the latest friendly trend, The Office Pool.
Don’t be afraid to jump right in, the water’s fine. Despite the economic downturn nearly every place of business around the country will be installing a man made body of liquid that isn’t urine, but will certainly get mixed with a good deal of it, just in time for spring. Yes, the early days of Spring annually bring about the office festival known as, March Madness. During March Madness employers have been known to split up their employees into a field of 64 according to institutions of higher learning and stage a tournament of wills on the chlorinated court otherwise known as Swimmy Basketball.
Often times the tournament leads to management-sanctioned gambling that doesn’t involve large portions of pension funds. but more than makes up for it by inspiring plenty of trash talk to signal the renewal of some old college rivalries.
Participants receive seedings that show just how much their bosses like them, but sometimes even the most favored employees like the company brown noser fall to the janitor and a whole new office hierarchy is established. The winner is rewarded handsomely with a bonus, an extra two weeks off, and the title of National Champion.
And really what’s friendlier and trendier than carrying the label of “National Champion” if only for a year.