The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Funemployment!

Howdy, friendly trendy blue collar folk.  Are you too busy working your fingers to the bone  and putting food on your table for your family to keep up with the Kardashians?  Well, don’t let Khloe, Kim, Kara, Karl, Kami, Karter, Kevlar, and Brody do all of the partying.  Drop the hero act and get with zero pack.  After all, the family that does nothing productive for society is the family that gets the most endorsement money.  Are we right or are we right?  (We know we’re right.)  While you’re working the assembly line those “talented” kids are busy working the Conga line and still making much more loot than you ever will…unless you take advantage of a little friendly trend we’d like to call Unemployment.

3 of The Kardashians Try To Break The World Record For Hours Spent Having Fun Dancing With A Pole

3 of The Kardashians Try To Break The World Record For Hours Spent Having Fun Dancing With A Pole

Unemployment is the sole reason all of the children of famous people have more than enough free time to partake in glamorous events like making their own sex tapes, dancing with the stars, walking the Grammy Red Carpet and filming a reality show for E! Think about it, if you didn’t have that pesky job, you could be skiing the Swiss Alps (until your money ran out assuming you decided not to pay your rent), writing a blog like this, or spending the entirety of your day doling out your previously hard earned cash at the local strip club away from they watchful eye of your wife and kids, but delightfully close to a beautiful woman named Sapphire.

Hello Sapphire!

Hello Sapphire!

There’s never been a better time to reap the benefits of Funemployment™ as corporations around the world are eager to get all their once employees a chance to live the life of the rich and famous,  in essence saying, “Hey Brody! Get out of here.  Go out and have a blast,” by terminating the jobs of their workers.  And with unemployment levels at their highest rate since the early 1990’s, millions upon millions of former workers are experiencing the good life that comes with standing on that unemployment line in the hopes that it will eventually be lined with paparazzi clamoring to take fabulous photos of the “less is more” fortunate.

An Army of Newly Unemployed Workers Raise Their Pink Slip In Delight

An Army of Newly Unemployed Workers Raise Their Pink Slip In Delight

The best part of Funemployment! is the pay.  While it’s true you’d probably get substantially less than you originally made when you still had a job, you never had the time to enjoy all that cash you were making anyway.  Raking in less coin just means you’ll value the things you spend every last precious penny on provided it has nothing to do with providing for your family.  Seriously, there’s nothing friendly and trendy about free time, if you’ve gotta worry about serious issues like bills and rent.  That’s why we call it Funemployment!

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February 10, 2009 Posted by | Careers, Culture, Economy, Entertainment, Family, family entertainment, Money, Television | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hobo Sapiens

Hello trendly investors.  Are you down in the dumps both literally and figuratively due to the recent stock market woes.  Well, stop scrounging around for meal scraps, it’s time you got out of the gutter and lifted yourself up by your bootstraps.  Because you’re going to have to be on your feet in order to catch the gravy train for our next friendly career trend, being a hobo. Ladies and gentlemen fill up your bindles, slip a harmonica into your back pocket and dip your face in the mud, because you’re about to do some hard travellin’… by boxcar.

A Former CEO Readies For The Hobo Revolution With Bindle In Hand

Thanks to the subprime mortgage crisis and the dow’s inevitable drop to zero come christmas time, another great depression is imminent.  So with that in mind, we here at the Trendliest see no better recourse than to get a head start on reliving those glory days when you could buy a prostitute and a meal for a nickel but couldn’t find the nickel to get you that elusive meal and prostitute.

Back in the Depression everyone from average Joes to Hollywood stars such as Rutger Hauer were hopping aboard freight trains sans tickets to traverse the country in search of an honest days work and two scoops of Raisin Bran.  These Hobos as they were called weren’t just normal hardscrabble bums.  Their lives were full of romance, intrigue, and music.  As toothless vagrants, they wandered the countryside taking advantage of the robber baron railroad pioneers lack of caboose security, all the while maintaining a sense of optimism at the expense of oral hygiene.  The hobos weren’t normal homeless that simply begged from the comfort of their cardboard boxes in the comfort of their big cities. They got to visit all types of interesting places like Tulsa, Muskogee, and Cedar Rapids while begging for food.  The hobo was a doer thus a suitable model for those soon to be unemployed rascals rarin’ to find their next pay check, whether they earn it from shovelin’ manure or serving as the assistant of a big entertainment movie writer like Richard Corliss of Time magazine.

Frequent Hobo Employer

Richard Corliss: Frequent Hobo Employer

Yes, if you hop on the trend of being a hobo, soon enough you’ll be able to relate even better to your great parents because you’ll be living just like they did in the olden days.  Who knows, maybe one day you’ll even stumble on that “Big Rock Candy Mountain.”  Hopefully the rock they are talking about is cocaine…and you can sell it so you don’t have to be a hobo anymore.

October 16, 2008 Posted by | Careers, Celebrities, Economy, Money, Travel | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment