Hey Trendliophiles, What’s that you’re listening to? Perhaps the latest from Terence Trend
D’arby? Oh, It’s Radiohead…and they’re still as good as they ever were? What’s that you say, the greatest band in the world? Wow, that’s a big statement, but of course they are. It would be downright untrendly of you not to say so. In fact, supporting your favorite band past their artistic peak no matter how little you presently identify with their current output is so in, as is berating people who disagree with the intangible proof of your viewpoint despite the fact that music appreciation is totally subjective. After all, what’s more friendly and trendy than informing people of what they should think is cool according to your tastes.
That reminds us, have you heard the new Wilson Phillips record? It’s totally going to win a Grammy. They’ve really grown up on this one and I think they used the same producer that worked on Jesus Jones’ second album, so it really takes them into a whole new place sonically.
That being said, we here at the Trendliest have a few albums that we’re totally looking forward to whenever they should happen to come out. The first one on our must have list is Chinese Democracy from the hop hot duo of Axl Rose and KFC-face. If this album is any bit as good as their previous homophobic, misogynistic efforts you can count us in for two copies. We have a feeling that throngs of people already agree, this is the greatest album ever to maybe be in existence.
Our next pick of the musical litter is the latest from Hootie & The Blowfish. We’re not sure when their next album comes out or what it’ll be called, but ever since these soft rockers encouraged us to “Let Her Cry” we’ve been holding back streaming saltwater from our tear ducts in anticipation of the next time an opportunity presents itself for them to extract an equal amount of water weight from us via the magic of music.
Yes, we here at the Trendliest are quite on top of the supporting bands past their artistic peak trend. We’ve seen the Rolling Stones play 16 times since 1998 and had gold circle seating every time! Speaking of which, did anyone get tickets to see Radiohead at All Points West? Word is they might play “Creep”.
Hey there Trendinistas, it’s your favorite oral surgeon Dr. Trendberg here to give you 10cc’s of TrendicilTM STAT! We here at The Trendliest feel it’s our God-given duty to inform you, Joe and Janette Public, of what’s hot, happening and hottt. Today we’re featuring what’s sure to be the hot-button topic (Editor’s Note: Not to be confused with Hot Topic) at your local office’s water cooler: WAR!
Yes, that’s right. It seems like you can’t go anywhere these days without bumping into a war of sorts. On the subway car, a rider accidentally jostles another passenger and before you know it someone is shouting, “Please, for the love of God, put down the surface-to-air missile!” Meanwhile, in the town library, an ill-tempered youth tests a nuclear warhead in the Young Adult section.
Yes, war is most definitely trendly. Since its humble beginnings in the early-to-mid 1400s war has been the most effective communication tool ever to be developed by high-functioning organisms. Though wars have been downplayed and received little to no media attention in recent times, our great barbaric pastime is seeing a bountiful resurgence with today’s trend-setting youth. Thanks to the Internet chat rooms, history textbooks and to a lesser extent, the water cooler; war stories and stories of war are being delivered by old timers to a hungry audience yearning for the days of yore. So, the next time you’re walking down a crowded street and you bump another person, don’t say “sorry” like a hippie (hippies are so 80’s) – respond with your fists in the air at the ready for some serious pummeling…provided of course, you have the support of Congress, the trendliest government body of them all.
Hey trend fans, your friendly neighborhood trend spotter, here to tell you what’s trendy now! Everyone knows retro is really hot. Most people are positively smitten with the 70’s, ecstatic about the 80’s, and totally nuts about the 90’s. However, here at “The Trendliest” we’re positively bonkers for the 00’s. In a world where we reminisce about last week, what’s wrong with being nostalgic for a product that came out in 2003? Answer, absolutely nothing! That’s why we’re singing the praises of our 3rd generation iPod.
Apple’s 3rd Generation iPod…or as I like to call it Old Trendy Reliable
Way back in ’03 you couldn’t fling a discman without hitting someone toting around one of these ancient devices and bouncing to Beyonce while ignoring oncoming pedestrian traffic. They weren’t watching a movie because these babies didn’t have that capability yet. How quaint. They did however have a shuffle feature, a backlight and great games like Brick, Music quiz, Solitaire, and Parachute that made a revolutionary game like Pong seem like Asteroids, but with a soundtrack of R.E.M’s “Radio Free Europe” or whatever you might be listening to at the time in the background.
The problem with today’s iPods is that they’ve got so much you can do. You can watch a movie, play a game, browse photos or listen to your favorite album. With all of those options it’s a wonder that users of the current iPod incarnation even have time to think. Maybe if I had one of my own I might think differently but the latest iPod Classic doesn’t jibe with my Mac OSX Version 10.3.9, alienating this user. That’s fine by me though because simple comforts are back in style and I’ll take my 5,000 songs over 40,000 songs any day.
If you’re looking to pick up one of these trendy retreads, just ask the guy or girl you know that you remember having one of these back in ’03. If they still have it, odds are they’ll sell it to you for $50 bucks at the most…and maybe it will be loaded with sweet tunes.