The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Come Here Often?

Hey Trendly ladies and gentlemen. We don’t think we’ve seen you here before. Do you come here often? Oh, you’re a regular Trendliest reader. Oh, then odds are we won’t have to convince you to come home with us, but if you were new to this site we’d lay on the charm via the use of the trendliest method of seduction, The Pick-Up line.

The pick-up line originated in the mid 1970’s when two Americans, in preparation for a night out at the Montreal clubs, flipped through a French-English dictionary to figure out how to ask French Canadians if they want to have sex. They came up with “Do you want to go to bed with me?” or “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Unfortunately the two men in question were extremely ugly and ended up being turned down by every woman they met that evening…including two or three prostitutes who when later asked said they preferred the honest approach of a simple hello. Luckily, for the two men in question they turned their sexual woes into the smash hit “Lady Marmalade” and even though no women ever believed them when they tried to impress them with their songwriting credits, they ended up very rich…and alone.

Preferred A Simple Hello

The pick-up line has since evolved into an increasingly awkward yet charming art with literally thousands of permutations on the original formula. Most of these enticing inquiries are only successful when the person doing the wooing is dressed in a ridiculous outfit and has had his or her tips professionally frosted.

The following is a list of some of the more popular pick up lines that are sure to help you achieve the friendly and trendy goal of getting the object of your affection to notice you because you’ll be talking to them.

1. Yo bitch…Can I holla?

2. I can see your pants in that mirror…I’m in that mirror. I think both me and your pants are in that mirror.

3. You’re pretty like Stevie Nicks.

Stevie Nicks…The Current Gold Standard of Beauty

4. I’m Enrique Iglesias.

5. Shall I phone you or nudge you?

6. When we get out of jail…I’m going to love you forever…if we get out of jail.

7. I lease a ’95 Chrysler Sebring.

’95 Sebring- The Crown Jewel of Chrysler

8. When you stepped out of heaven did they have to kill someone to make an angel to replace you…because I think killing is morally reprehensible.

9. When in Rome or wherever it is we are, do me.

10. Twenty dollars for one song!

Hopefully, these lines can be of some assistance in curing your lovelorn state, but you’ll never know unless you get out there and put them to the test. The proof is in the trendly pudding.

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August 5, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Methods, Romance, Social Trends | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Show Her (And Everyone Else) How Much You Care

Hello trendly soldiers in the army of love, is that your face we see firmly planted in the bosom and/or crotch of your lover? Oh don’t stop on our account. We here at The Trendliest are all for your not so covert romantic tryst. Not only do we think your need to consummate your relationship in our presence is rather touching, but it’s also overflowing with trendliness. After all, public displays of affection are all the rage these days.

Seeing couples out on street corners sucking face no matter what the weather, is pretty much the norm no matter where in the world you or Carmen Sandiego are. Have you ever stopped to think why you’ve managed to happen upon so many used condoms while strolling the park or traipsing down a sidestreet? Well, those condoms strewn about are a result of a public display of affection…or a quickie attempt at spreading chlamydia. Either way it was done where others might see the act take place, because at least one of the parties involved totally gets off on doing “it” (“it: meaning affection) in public.

THIS often leads to….

THIS!

Public displays of affection or “PDAs” as they’re commonly referred to by onlookers or Palm Treo users, aren’t limited to outdoor locations. They can occur in a busy store or restaurant. Really what’s better than showing the unsupervised neighborhood children running around at the local coffee shop how your tongue looks in your significant other’s mouth as you inform her of your pressing need to be “inside her”? After all, they have to learn what love is some time and seeing as their local Republican Congressman successfully lobbied to remove sexual education from their school’s curriculum they’d otherwise end up flying blind. However, thanks to trendly public displays of affection, kids can learn about the birds and the bees in a more realistic, less sterile environment such as Barnes and Noble.

May 20, 2008 Posted by | Romance, Social Trends | , , , , , , | Leave a comment