The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

In The Bush

Greetings creatures of the fashionable flesh.  Are you often met with vacant stares when you remove your pants to feel the air down there? Are you the type of person who who enjoys baring more than your soul while playing nine holes? Do you long to visit a tropical paradise where the wind blows through the palm trees and your undercarriage?  And finally, are you a high school principle or retired haberdasher with a front-butt and revolting genitalia who would feel more secure if everyone knew what you were packing all of the time?  Well, why didn’t you say so?  You’re qualified to hit up the friendly trendy new hot spots that are sprouting up almost as often as your freshly shorn pubic hair.  We’re not talking about locker rooms, but the friendliest and trendiest new form of communal living…Nudist Colonies.

610-nudist-colony-sign

Nudist colonies have been existence since the earliest man couldn’t figure out how to skin a fern, but since then civilization has forsaken all forms of open air, be it warm or cold in order to hide their sexy parts from each other in order to lamely maintain an air of mystery about themselves.  However, as time has worn on and films as diverse as Debbie Does Dallas and Aladdin have dropped the double entendre in favor of straight up entendre…human beings have more and more often been getting down to the nitty gritty by basically spending the majority of their waking hours trying to see each other naked. The advent of nudist colonies came as a direct result of this basic human desire to undress one another.

Aladdin, The Film That Inspired Thousands of Good Teenaged Girls To Take Off Their Clothes

Aladdin, The Film That Inspired Thousands of Good Teenaged Girls To Take Off Their Clothes

Nudist Colonies are usually located in areas distant from population centers due to the fact that most inhabitants have been shunned by those same group of human beings that have no desire to see certain  disrobe and wish they’d all just hide in the woods out of plain sight with their pubic forestry blending in with the actual forestry.  However, amongst their accepted equals these nudists maintain that the human body is a beautiful an not at all awkward thing that should be embraced whether one is fishing, eating, or just plain singing karaoke.

Whatever Happened To Macy Gray? Well, She's Performing Karaoke Versions of Her Own Songs at Nudist Colonies.  But, Of Course!

Whatever Happened To Macy Gray? Well, She's Performing Karaoke Versions of Her Own Songs at Nudist Colonies. But, Of Course!

While most of these flesh farms consist largely of bare elders, there is a growing youth movement. The younger population in these environments tend to be very well educated and absolutely fearless on account of the fact that they never have that recurring nightmare when they’re standing naked at the front of the classroom. And in our estimation the proliferation of a confident youth class is most decidedly trendly.

Confident Nude Youths Engaged In A Game of Touch Rugby

Confident Nude Youths Engaged In A Game of Touch Rugby

Some may think the best part of joining a Nudist Colony is the sense of community, the buffet or the regular games of badminton; we here at Trendliest beg to differ.  The most appealing part of being a Nudist is getting to see boobs.  Any time there are boobs on  display no matter how saggy or perky, it will always be considered friendly or trendly.

April 2, 2009 Posted by | Culture, family entertainment, self-help, Sexuality, Social Trends, Travel | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Extreme Makeover: Blog Edition

Hello tried and true Trendliest fans. Have you recently grown a little weary of something in your life that you consider to be the least bit aesthetically undesirable? Maybe you’re still wearing a beehive hairdo (that’s so last year) or the bedroom you sleep in doesn’t look quite enough like the grandstand court at the All England Lawn Tennis Club even though it’s your dream to participate in Wimbledon. Well, we here at Trendliest think it’s time to do something nice for yourself and treat your hair and perhaps the other unsatisfactory areas of your life to the friendliest trend around- a makeover.

This Could Be Your Bedroom

This Could Be Your Bedroom

Prior to the advent of television, the idea of changing something about yourself or “making it over” was an idea only associated with escaped convicts. People who got new hairstyles or attitudes were usually arrested and sent back to jail on suspicion of wrongdoing alone. All of this changed thanks to “Sonny and Cher”, who first achieved popularity as a lovable variety-show hosting singing couple, but got career makeovers when Cher morphed into a sailor-banging Academy Award-Winning drag queen and gay icon and Sonny learned how to ski.

Cher & Sonny Pre Makeover Post Citizen's Arrest

Sonny & Cher Pre-Makeover, Post Citizen’s Arrest

One of Cher’s Many Fabulous Makeovers

Many artists followed Sonny and Cher’s example, none so successfully as Madonna who experimented with countless looks and morphed from a younger 20 something-ish dancing whore/sexual icon into an older 50-ish wrinkled dancing whore/sexual icon.

Because of Madonna and Cher’s drastic makeovers in the public eye, television executives thought that making over inanimate objects such as wardrobes, bathrooms, and straight men could be equally as appealing to audiences of popular culture. As a result, the Bravo network was founded and producers immediately got to work on making over everything in sight, starting of course with their offices, which had wallpaper that was a horrible shade of mauve that just had to go.

A Color Swatch of Bravo's Office Wallpaper

A Color Swatch of Bravo’s Office Wallpaper

Nowadays if you want to make over anything all you need is a gay friend, a camera crew and Ty Pennington. Luckily for us, we managed to wrangle all three of those things together yesterday, and now Trendliest has a whole new look. We hope you enjoy our makeover…we think it’s a most friendly and trendy site for formerly sore eyes.

June 26, 2008 Posted by | Careers, Celebrities, Entertainment, Fashion, image, interior decoration, Methods, Music, self-help, Television, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment