Greetings Trendly nation! Do you like animation? Do you like bizarre game shows? How about laughing at people who are different than you because they say things with an accent and don’t necessarily have a rudimentary understanding of your language? Well, then making light of Japanese culture is certainly a friendly trend that you can get on board with.
Yes, Americans have been enjoying Japanese culture since an unknown wall street banker enjoyed his first rolls of Sushi after an all night cocaine binge back in 1982. Prior to that, the only things about Japan Americans celebrated had something to do with a giant mushroom cloud or their fancy new CD player. Since then, major multi-national corporations and people all over the United States have caught on to the fact that Japanese people are amusing and that exploiting their culture is a relatively harmless practice.
Disembodied Japanese Heads Rank High On The Fun-o-meter
Companies like Six Flags with their “more flags more fun” ad campaign, The Food Network and FOX with their adaptations of Japanese game shows have done a wonderful job of co-opting the fun things about Japanese culture, such as their penchant for utilizing the appeal of shouting, disembodied heads; zapping all of the personality out of them by using them for monetary gain even though their quirkiness and excitability doesn’t necessarily translate into the culture of the particular country they inhabit.
Pikachu: “Collect Me, I Love You”
There have been a few cases, such as Pokemon and Nintendo, where Japanese culture has been translated successfully into American culture. However, both of those instances were undertaken with the guidance of Japanese businesses with the aim of exploiting the American population for their own commercial gain and VIP seating at Karaoke bars…which is not trendly. The last time America let that happen was with Belgians and the cartoon lovingly known as “The Smurfs” and we all know where that led.
The Smurfs’ Success Caused Irreparable Van Dammage
Things can only be friendly and trendly if we here in the United States co-opt other people’s culture. That way no one gets hurt and we can continue to be our blissfully ignorant selves, which the last time we checked has always been trendly.
Hello tried and true Trendliest fans. Have you recently grown a little weary of something in your life that you consider to be the least bit aesthetically undesirable? Maybe you’re still wearing a beehive hairdo (that’s so last year) or the bedroom you sleep in doesn’t look quite enough like the grandstand court at the All England Lawn Tennis Club even though it’s your dream to participate in Wimbledon. Well, we here at Trendliest think it’s time to do something nice for yourself and treat your hair and perhaps the other unsatisfactory areas of your life to the friendliest trend around- a makeover.
This Could Be Your Bedroom
Prior to the advent of television, the idea of changing something about yourself or “making it over” was an idea only associated with escaped convicts. People who got new hairstyles or attitudes were usually arrested and sent back to jail on suspicion of wrongdoing alone. All of this changed thanks to “Sonny and Cher”, who first achieved popularity as a lovable variety-show hosting singing couple, but got career makeovers when Cher morphed into a sailor-banging Academy Award-Winning drag queen and gay icon and Sonny learned how to ski.
Sonny & Cher Pre-Makeover, Post Citizen’s Arrest
One of Cher’s Many Fabulous Makeovers
Many artists followed Sonny and Cher’s example, none so successfully as Madonna who experimented with countless looks and morphed from a younger 20 something-ish dancing whore/sexual icon into an older 50-ish wrinkled dancing whore/sexual icon.
Because of Madonna and Cher’s drastic makeovers in the public eye, television executives thought that making over inanimate objects such as wardrobes, bathrooms, and straight men could be equally as appealing to audiences of popular culture. As a result, the Bravo network was founded and producers immediately got to work on making over everything in sight, starting of course with their offices, which had wallpaper that was a horrible shade of mauve that just had to go.
A Color Swatch of Bravo’s Office Wallpaper
Nowadays if you want to make over anything all you need is a gay friend, a camera crew and Ty Pennington. Luckily for us, we managed to wrangle all three of those things together yesterday, and now Trendliest has a whole new look. We hope you enjoy our makeover…we think it’s a most friendly and trendy site for formerly sore eyes.
Why hello there residents of Trend York City. Does your 40-hour-a-week job as an architect and second job selling hot roasted nuts barely net you enough money to keep that roof over your head and your tummy full of top ramen? Perhaps your current place of residence doesn’t allow for the suitable quality of life that usually comes commensurate with your salary. Maybe you’re looking for a cheaper locale in which you can get your career moving, settle down with a wife and 4.3 children, or just be a hip urban youngster enjoying the prime of your youth.
Well, if one of those three things sounds like what you’re after….then we’ve got just the place for you to realize your American Dream. We here at Trendliest reckon you should be headed for a place where your money will go miles further than most other urban areas… a place like Selma, Alabama.
Not only is this southern city located on the muddy banks of the Mississippi, a historical landmark, but the “Butterfly Capital of the World” is practically begging to be gentrified….by you! If you’ve been living in a bubble…or Selma, Alabama and have no idea what gentrification is, it’s the process whereby young socially tolerant, upwardly-mobile (not Mobile, Alabama) white people take up residence in urban areas occupied largely by minorities and force that area’s minorities out by opening watering holes with indie-rock jukeboxes so that other young, hip, white people might feel comfortable should they decide to move to said town.
Yes there’ll plenty to do in Selma, Alabama once you’ve moved there and opened a record store or co-founded a blog about being a big city transplant in the deep south that will be read by a wide variety of northeastern hipsters who enjoy laughing at the differences they have with people less fortunate than them. This will naturally lead to a lucrative book deal and a film franchise starring the enchanting Reese Witherspoon.
While acclimating yourself to your new southern surroundings you should also have the opportunity to fight off advances from the local Ku Klux Klan chapter who will no doubt try to initiate you into their organization or even re-enact Martin Luther King Jr.’s historic March on Selma by driving your Prius back and forth in between there and Montgomery.
If all of that activity is not your speed, you can just stay home and sit on the porch enjoying that beautiful southern scenery while ironically listening to “Sweet Home Alabama” on your iPod whilst wearing a confederate flag t-shirt. Now if movin’ your hide down to Selma, Alabama don’t sound trendly to you, maybe we’re just whistlin’ dixie.
Hey Trend activists, did you know that there’s a war going on in Iraq? “Whatever”, you say? Well okay, if that’s how you feel about then you’re positively trendly because being apathetic is the latest friendly trend sweeping the nation.
Whether Seal is playing at your local concert hall or endangered baby seals are being clubbed by poachers, being totally apathetic is the first step in not doing anything about the matter. While many advocates for positive social action have deemed apathy to be a societal problem that begets more undesirable circumstances, efforts to end it have gone largely unrewarded due to overall lack of interest.
The first attempt at quashing the apathy epidemic took place in 1996 at Ramapo High School in Spring Valley, N.Y. when the Ramapo End Apathy Program (REAP) was instituted. The program’s goal was to get students more involved in community activity, but students instead marked this initiative by telling other people they’d just been “reaped” and forgetting to attend meetings, which served to actually enhance the trend.
Apathy still thrives today inasmuch that we’re entirely too uninspired to even expound on the matter. Now that’s what we call trendly.
Mirror Mirror on the wall, how’s the trendiest trend followers of them all? I hope you’re a hungry bunch today, because your friendly trendy tastemaker has a positively delicious and downright trendly snack ready for you to eat up–pudding!
Our newest trendly eat hasn’t always been so friendly. Back in the early 1600’s Dutch fur traders used pudding to lure unsuspecting Native Americans into bear traps so that they might steal their bison pelts. For the longest time the tasty, yet deadly treat had a negative stigma attached to it as it was largely responsible for the disappearance of much of the Native American population. The last recorded pudding-related Native-American bear trap death was recorded in 1989 and ever since then the consumption of pudding has been steadily rising.
The biggest boon to the pudding popularity occurred when uber-huge comedian Bill Cosby uttered the words “There’s always room for Jell-o pudding” whilst toting around a pudding pop for the entirety of his recent cinematic triumph, Leonard Part 6. Since that film, pudding has been in high demand. Everyone from hospital patients to the angels hovering around hospitals waiting for patients to die enjoys some pudding every now and again. Perhaps that’s because it’s available in such a variety of flavors, from rice, to chocolate, chocolate vanilla swirl and even blood. It’s nearly impossible to not find a pudding flavor you like. You know what they say, variety is the spice of life…and it’s also downright trendly. Three cheers for pudding! (Note: cheering aloud, not trendly).