The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Armed To The Feet

Greetings troopers of the 82nd Trendliest Infantry division!  General Trendkopf here demanding you put down those pistols, beat your swords into plowshares and replace those revolvers with roses.  All of those sophisticated modes of weaponry are decidedly out of date.  The friendly, trendy new way to get your battle on and your point across is not to gear up with guns, but to unlace your loafers and let ’em fly.

The Shoe Heard 'round The World

The Shoe Heard 'round The World

Ever since the events of this past week, when Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi attempted the first Presidential shoe-sassination, military defense contractors at Halliburton have been hard at work with the economically-minded pump producers at Payless, developing the ultimate  surface-to-groin missile that will surely put the United States ahead in the foot race.

Haliburton-Payless Prototype Surface To Groin Missile

Haliburton-Payless Prototype Surface-To-Groin Missile

The United States isn’t the only national superpower anxious to dub itself a Shoe-per power. China and India are right up there with over a billion pairs of shoes each aimed in the general direction of almost every country in the world. The United States’ standing as a world leader is secure though, thanks in large part to a fleet female fighting force each brandishing on average up to 14 pairs of the trendly new weapon in a variety of different styles and colors that are designed to compliment a variety of different regulation fatigues and battle situations.

United States Defense Department Shoe Stockpile (Courtesy of Imelda Marcos)     United States Defense Department Shoe Stockpile (Courtesy of Imelda Marcos)

United States Defense Department Shoe Stockpile (Courtesy of Imelda Marcos)

The fact that President Bush avoided being struck by both of al-Zeidi’s size 10’s is a big reason for World War III not breaking out. Also, the Italian economy has seen quite a boost from the event as the world’s governments have sought out the finest in Italian leather footwear from likes of Salvatore Ferragamo and Prada to equip their armies.

While the World may not yet be embroiled in a melee of moccasins, the irate Iraqi has inspired a few “Shoe d’etats” in 3rd world countries like Sri Lanka and The Island of Cuervo Nation. The new method of warfare has also prompted constitutional enthusiast Ron Paul to lobby for a change in the 2nd amendment to include the right to bear dock-siders.

The dramatic shift in tensions has created a new world order that  foreign relations experts predict could result in increased violence. On the upside, the death toll is likely to reduce 85%, but there might still be a lot of black and blue marks and scuffed up wing tips.  We’ll take that over a high death toll any day.  So the next time you want to take your guns to town, take a look down and realize that you’re armed to the feet and let the friendly, trendy battle begin.

December 16, 2008 Posted by | Fashion, International, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bidet Can You See?

bidetHey Trendly tidy freaks.  Does the thought of rough two-ply TP send your butt cheeks into a fearful frenzy? Are you anal about keeping your a-hole as immaculate as Jesus’ conception?  If  you regularly put cleanliness  next to godliness, then we here at Trendliest recommend you get on board with our new personal hygiene lord and savior, the bidet.

The bidet is certainly not a new wrinkle in the removal of the unsightly from our undersides.  In fact, the bidet dates all the way back to 17th Century France when King Louis XIV held court at Versailles.  The word bidet, however, did not apply to a special kind of plumbing fixture that squirted water to clean one’s bum and undercarriage, rather it referred to Laurent Bidet, a man who squirted water like a fountain from his mouth to clean the king’s bum and undercarriage after bouts of explosive diarrhea or in the event toilet leaf was not present, which was most of the time.

First To Sit On The Bidet Throne

Louis XIV: First To Sit On The Bidet Throne

While Laurent Bidet took great pride in being the first man to repeatedly restore the King’s cleanliness and therefore his godliness, there were certain drawbacks to being the King’s personal rear end wiper; most notably was the splashback.  Bidet eventually went insane and told Louis, “he could shove it up his ass,” in french.  As a result, he was beheaded before the court and The King took his advice to heart using Bidet’s head as his own toilet towel until he contracted some rather nasty ailments.

Fountain Honoring Laurent Bidet

Fountain Honoring Laurent Bidet

Determined not to relive his father’s embarrassment, Francois Bidet developed the first modern era Bidet that with the turn of a faucet blasted warm water directly to the King’s anus, thus giving him a feeling of heavenly euphoria.  Young Bidet was rewarded in riches and became the Louis XIV right hand man because he himself was a lefty.

Bidets Keep Your Family Clean and The Environment Green

Bidets Keep Your Family Clean and The Environment Green

Not so remarkably, the Bidet is still a much sought after device, as it allows those on the toilet to eschew the use of paper to beautify their bottom.  It is estimated that each bidet saves about 250,000 trees a year, making it a truly one of the first green gadgets.  So not only does the bidet put pleasure in proclaiming your cleanliness, but as it helps save the planet it puts a little godliness in your hands at the turn of a faucet or a blast in your behind.  Now that’s what we call a friendly trend.

December 10, 2008 Posted by | Environmental | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Trendliest 2008 Holiday Gift Guide

shoppingAttention Trendly shoppers! There’s only 22 shopping days left until Christmas.  That’s 525 hours you can spend watching TV in preparation for three hours of high-octane, full-contact shopping. After all, we wouldn’t want you to miss those marathons of “Law And Order: Missing Puppy Unit” and “House M.D.” you’ve been so eagerly awaiting.  So with such little time left to tackle the task of finding that special something for those special someones, what’s a friendly, trendy person such as yourself to do?

Well, you could buy heaps of magazines and read their ‘Top 10 Things You Can’t Afford But Should Buy Your Loved One Anyway” lists, though that could certainly put a hurting on your cash flow, which is a big no-no when you consider how en vogue it is to be a cheapskate this season. So to help stay more in touch with the times, we here at Trendliest have come up with our own friendly, trendy list of the hottest gifts of the giving season.

So without any further ado, The Trendliest 2008 Holiday Gift Guide:

FOR THE KIDS

MatchesForKids

MatchesPrometheus was an adult when he discovered fire, allow your children the magic of this scorcher of a present before they know how to handle it responsibly.  Who said growing up fast isn’t trendly?

TickleMeChuckyTickle Me Chucky– Everyone else will be making a mad dash for Tickle Me Elmo. Differentiate yourself by getting that little tyke a Tickle Me Chucky.  Your child tickles…Chucky stabs. It’s a win-win situation or potentially painful lesson.

285snickers020607Snickers– It satisfies you. If your kids aren’t satisfied with that, well then they’re just ungrateful.

Horror Make UpHorror Make Up Kit– Every time you scar them emotionally, they’ll be able to show it physically.

FOR HIM

leopard print underwear

Leopard Print Underwear– Because Every man secretly wants his penis to move with cat-like agility.

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The Diff’rent Strokes DVD Collection– What you talkin’ bout Santa?

Peanut Butter Machine

The Peanut Butter Machine– Next time you catch him getting Peanut Butter licked off his genitalia by the dog, you can take comfort in knowing that at least it’s homemade and not that store bought processed Peter Pan junk.

FOR HER

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Leopard Print Underwear-Because every woman secretly wants her breasts to move with cat-like agility.

eve11

Ankle Jewelry–  All women like ankle jewelry. Why not give her something that no one gets to see most of the time and tells you when she’s drunk?  It’ll be your little secret.

hes_just_not_that_into_you

“He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo– Tell her how much you care.  She’ll laugh about this later.

FOR THE ELDERLY

complaintComplaint Box and Forms– Old people are very vocal and love to complain, but yelling about things makes them tired.  The Complaint Box allows them to voice as many opinions as they want without using their actual voice.  And you can get around to dealing with them whenever.

7dayshop-com-binoculars-compact-10x25-dcf-new-blue-colour-super-special

Binoculars– They’re going to need them to watch over you when they’re in heaven.

Well there you have it deal-getters and trendsetters, Trendliest’s list of must-haves this holiday season.  What are you waiting for?  Get out there and keep that economy afloat…or if you have to wait until Dr. House figures out what’s wrong with his current patient and improbably saves her life at the last possible second, then by all means take your time.  Just remember, Christmas is December 25th and Hannukah is…well who knows when that is?  Remember it’s always better to buy trendly than to leave with a cart that’s empty.  Happy sales to you…and try not to run over anyone.

December 3, 2008 Posted by | Commerce, Economy, Gifts, Holiday | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Do The Vampire!

vampire

Greetings Trendsferatus! Do you have a genuine thirst for blood and opulence even though you’re not an ambulance chasing lawyer?  Do you long to suck the life out of trends until they’re pale, lacking plasma and destined to live forever? If this sounds like you, then you’re already well on your way to taking part in the latest friendly trend, being a vampire.

Seems like you can’t consume any media these days without crossing paths with these creatures of the night.  Whether you’re watching children’s television in the morning, trying to see Anna Paquin get naked on HBO in prime time or even reading an erotic teen novel before bedtime, the antics of these bloodthirsty beasts have taken over our culture with their Eastern European accents and general disdain for reflections.

Vlad The Impaler

Vlad The Impaler

Despite the current frenzy being caused by these hemoglobin-hunting horrors, the proliferation of the ‘pire is nothing new; Bram Stoker’s Dracula was the very first documented fictional vampire dating back to the 1800’s.  In actuality, his character was based on 15th Century Romanian Royal, Vlad The Impaler, who was infamous for accidentally drawing blood while fellating male houseguests. Stoker‘s publishers were so horrified by the original draft depicting his homosexual hero that they insisted the author change the main character from a princely Transylvanian with a penchant for counting to ten and a knack for mangling man-parts into a Gary Oldman-ish, saber-toothed seductor draining dames of their plasma and platelets.

Bram Stoker's Fictionalized Depiction of The Romanian Stallion

Bram Stoker's Fictionalized Depiction Of The Romanian Stallion

This printed legend of Dracula has allowed the Vampire fad to live on for centuries.  It’s biggest obstacle was presented in the 1990’s as the pop culture world became a veritable battleground for these mythical monsters.  Anne Rice was writing multiple novels about handsome bloodsuckers as vehicles for Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, and Brad Pitt; while Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kristy Swanson, and Wesley Snipes combined efforts to put their kind to an end.  For a while it seemed like the slayers would put a stake through the heart of this fad with a musical episode or two, but the star power of the vampires won out.

Fought The Good Fight Against Vampire-Kind

Gellar: Fought The Good Fight Against Vampire-Kind

Won The War

Dunst, Pitt, Cruise: Won The War, Did An Interview About It

As we speak there are at least three vampire vehicles out there lurking in the night.  They move fast, they air late and before you know it, the public gets bitten and  thirsts for even more. We here at Trendliest recommend you hop on this trend quickly, because in as short a time as it takes for the next sunrise, Vampire-chic could crumble to dust. So gel up that widow’s peak, sharpen those teeth, and load some songs from The Cure onto your iPod — because being a vampire doesn’t suck, unless you want it to.

November 13, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Literature, Television | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Change We Can Believe In

change-we-can-believe-inAre you looking to alter the course of history for the better, but aren’t completely sure how to go about  it?  Well, it’s not going to just happen as you sit in your fancy Washington offices passing bills and sleeping with sexy interns. If you want society to start building towards a better tomorrow (depending on your definition of a better tomorrow), there’s only one friendly and trendy way to do it and that’s CHANGE.

The End All Be All of Sexy Interns

Monica Lewinsky: The End All Be All of Sexy Interns

Yes, Trendocrats and Stylepublicans “Change” may have been the watchword this election season, but it’s been a hot-button topic for quite some time now.  It’s on the tips of the tongues of the East Coast homeless elite as they reach out their coffee cups demanding it, it’s on the fingertips of those passing through tolls, the minds of southern farmers switching from their pajamas  into their plowing clothes at dawn each morning, and yes it’s even on the mind of those who would rather watch something else during commercials.  But before all of that beeswax, the idea of “change” was both friendly and trendy to the first man, Adam.

You Think Those Farmers Were Born Wearing Those Close...No.  They Had To "Change" Into Them

You Think Those Farmers Were Born Wearing Those Clothes...No. They Had To "Change" Into Them!

If it weren’t for Adam’s need to obtain one of his required daily servings from the “fruit” food group from a  source other than lingonberries, the whole of mankind would be stuck in the Garden of Eden not being allowed to eat apples while ignoring the advances of serpents and the fairer sex.  Thanks to the “Big A” and his need to change up his diet and sample something delicious, our species has spread change all over the world- transforming it from a wonderful wilderness into the beautifully smog ridden wasteland of industry that we know today.

Adam and Eve Usher In The Initial Era of Change

Adam and Eve Usher In The Initial Era of Change

Up until recently, the way we ushered in political change in the United States had stayed mostly the same.  The longstanding traditional method was to have one rich, white conservative leader  replace another of equal or lesser value -similar to the way one would change from one pair of tighty whities into another in the morning.  Alas, a new day has come ladies and gentlemen.  With the election of Barack Obama -a minority- to the White House, changing the way we change things has become the new way to transform ourselves.  So the next time you put your underwear on or decide you’d rather watch Access Hollywood over Entertainment Tonight, remember, you can change those things the conventional way or you can change the way you change them (i.e. using a shirt instead of undies to cover your junk or just not using the remote) and be the friendliest, trendiest person you can be.

November 6, 2008 Posted by | Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What’s Your Situation?

Hello my trendly friendlies.  Do you have something to talk about, but don’t want to wait til Bonnie Raitt shows up to discuss it?  Whether you’ve got a crisis a brewin’ or just some tasty new decaf mocha java, you’re going to need that special place in your casa to discuss it.  While some people will happily settle for the den or that creepy garbage room in your apartment complex where it’s rumored the super disposes of the bodies of past tenants for their all important conversations, the latest friendly trend in home decor is to designate a certain space as your “Situation Room.”

Go From This...

Go From This...

TO THIS!!!

TO THIS!!!

The original situation room was created by Presidential hottie JFK in 1962 after the failed Bay of Pigs invasion. Unfortunately most Americans were too busy building bomb shelters, a.k.a Subterranean Life Sustaining Rooms, (SLSRs) to concentrate on making their above ground homes all the more fabulous and failed altogether to capitalize on this trend.

The Original Situation Room Or The Unpopular Kids Cafeteria Table

The Original Situation Room Or The Unpopular Kids Cafeteria Table?

In the year 2002, the Panic Room named after the David Fincher film of the same name, became a short-lived trend in home design.  Most families, however, never had occasion to protect Jodie Foster from determined thieves and thus quickly dismantled their secure havens.

Imagine, Your Very Own Wolf Blitzer

Imagine, Your Very Own Robot Wolf Blitzer

Then, on one shiny summer evening in 2005 CNN debuted their program The Situation Room…and slowly but surely “Situation Rooms” have been popping up in homes all over the world ever since.  The majority of these rooms come equipped with a minimum of six chairs and a huge touch-screen map that comes in handy for training your kids for impending punditry or just planning that long-awaited family vacation.  And if you chip in a few extra bucks we’re sure your interior decorator just might include an animatronic Wolf Blitzer.  Being prepared for any sitch and having a robot celebrity in your home, what’s more friendly and trendy than that?

October 29, 2008 Posted by | Home | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On Your Mark, Get Set, Snow!

Greetings Trendly competitors. With the fall upon us there’s undoubtedly the hint of a chill in the air, and with no Winter Olympics to wrest the attention away from the impending Presidential election this season it’s been quite difficult to get our competitive juices flowing.  While the race for the White House is enthralling, it doesn’t get our blood a boiling like curling or that winter biathlon with shooting and cross country skiing.  Despite the lack of skin tight clad East Germans luge-ing for gold, there is a new polar pastime that is teetering on the edge of trendliness.   That new friendly, trendy, and ultimately shivery sport is none other than snow machine racing.

Snow Machine Champion Todd Palin Gets All The Hot Chicks

Snow Machine Champion Todd Palin Gets All The Hot Chicks

Thanks to Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s Vice Presidential Candidacy Snow Machine Racing has taken center stage in the wide world of wintry athletics.  Her husband Todd, a.k.a The First Dude of Alaska, has earned celebrated world champion status in a variety of cold weather contests. Not only has he won the annual Tesoro Iron Dog Snowmobile Race an impressive four times since 1993, but he’s also won the coveted Snow Machine Triathlon 7 times.  The event in which competitors travel 600 miles on their snowmobiles, use a snowblower to clear off a fifty foot-long driveway that’s been blocked in by the local snow plow and then make sno-cones for an entire class of sixth graders is set to be added as a demonstration sport for the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics.

The Grueling 2nd Leg of The Snow Machine Triathlon

The Grueling 2nd Leg of The Snow Machine Triathlon

While the Alaskan first dude is the early favorite for the gold, two years should be plenty of time for you to practice your Snow Machine skills so that you might have a chance to beat him.  If you want to get in some quality training time, you should most definitely enter the White House 500 Charity Race to benefit the flagging economy, slated for sometime in February should the McCain-Palin ticket win.  Not only will you be able to circle the White House five-hundred times in your snowmobile, but afterwards you get to share a six-pack with the VP, while raising money for a good cause.  Now that’s what we call trendly.

October 23, 2008 Posted by | Economy, Politics, Sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hobo Sapiens

Hello trendly investors.  Are you down in the dumps both literally and figuratively due to the recent stock market woes.  Well, stop scrounging around for meal scraps, it’s time you got out of the gutter and lifted yourself up by your bootstraps.  Because you’re going to have to be on your feet in order to catch the gravy train for our next friendly career trend, being a hobo. Ladies and gentlemen fill up your bindles, slip a harmonica into your back pocket and dip your face in the mud, because you’re about to do some hard travellin’… by boxcar.

A Former CEO Readies For The Hobo Revolution With Bindle In Hand

Thanks to the subprime mortgage crisis and the dow’s inevitable drop to zero come christmas time, another great depression is imminent.  So with that in mind, we here at the Trendliest see no better recourse than to get a head start on reliving those glory days when you could buy a prostitute and a meal for a nickel but couldn’t find the nickel to get you that elusive meal and prostitute.

Back in the Depression everyone from average Joes to Hollywood stars such as Rutger Hauer were hopping aboard freight trains sans tickets to traverse the country in search of an honest days work and two scoops of Raisin Bran.  These Hobos as they were called weren’t just normal hardscrabble bums.  Their lives were full of romance, intrigue, and music.  As toothless vagrants, they wandered the countryside taking advantage of the robber baron railroad pioneers lack of caboose security, all the while maintaining a sense of optimism at the expense of oral hygiene.  The hobos weren’t normal homeless that simply begged from the comfort of their cardboard boxes in the comfort of their big cities. They got to visit all types of interesting places like Tulsa, Muskogee, and Cedar Rapids while begging for food.  The hobo was a doer thus a suitable model for those soon to be unemployed rascals rarin’ to find their next pay check, whether they earn it from shovelin’ manure or serving as the assistant of a big entertainment movie writer like Richard Corliss of Time magazine.

Frequent Hobo Employer

Richard Corliss: Frequent Hobo Employer

Yes, if you hop on the trend of being a hobo, soon enough you’ll be able to relate even better to your great parents because you’ll be living just like they did in the olden days.  Who knows, maybe one day you’ll even stumble on that “Big Rock Candy Mountain.”  Hopefully the rock they are talking about is cocaine…and you can sell it so you don’t have to be a hobo anymore.

October 16, 2008 Posted by | Careers, Celebrities, Economy, Money, Travel | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rid Yourself of Sin…FAST!

Hey fellow believers in Trendlyism, Have you been good this year? Probably not. If you’re a God-fearing human being odds are your clothes and skin are washed in nothing but Tide and sin. Have no fear (unless it’s a rational fear of God or death) Trendliest is here to tell you how to wipe the sin off the surface of your being and achieve the friendly, trendy state of equilibrium between naughty and nice that can only be attained through atonement.

A Movie With Very Few Food Visuals

Atonement: A Movie With Very Few Food Visuals

Despite popular belief, atonement is more than just an Oscar-nominated film starring that transgression-free vixen Keira Knightley.  If you’re wondering how the esteemed Brit beauty rid herself of all wrongdoing, the answer is simple.  The star of such films as “The Jacket”, and “Domino” frequently engages in the most effective slate-cleansing practice, known as fasting. Other famous fasters include Gandhi and pre-pregnancy Nicole Richie.

Fasting, put simply, is the act of not eating in the hopes that the lord will think you’re a good person because you’ve chosen to deprive yourself of such a simple pleasure in order to fool him/her.  Depending on your religion, fasting only works in the riddance of iniquity on several instances throughout the year.  If you just so happen to be of the Jewish faith not eating from sundown to sundown on Yom Kippur or “The Day of Atonement” erases all wrongdoing that you’ve engaged in over the past year. So whether you eat meat and dairy together on a Friday or molest children on Wednesday, as long as you don’t eat on this one day you can feel good about yourself again and start anew on this year’s docket of depravity, knowing full well all you have to do is make it to the next “Day of Atonement.”

No Food On Your Plate...No Sins on Your Slate

No Food On Your Plate...No Sins on Your Slate

Some celebrities rife with sin attempt other methods of achieving atonement.  Don Henley originally wrote the song “Heart of The Matter” from his 1989 album The End of The Innocence in an attempt to garner favor with his lord and savior during lent.  The vocals were peppered with mentions of “atonement”, but Henley’s record label didn’t think the lyrics were catchy enough and replaced that word with the more populous term “forgiveness”.  Needless to say, Henley wasn’t forgiven, he rejoined The Eagles and subsequently caused hell to freeze over.

Never Truly Got To The Heart of The Matter, But Helped Destroy Hell

Henley: Never Truly Got To The Heart of The Matter, But Helped Destroy Hell

Even though writing a song about atonement seems like a relatively painless way to get off scot-free, not everyone possesses the means to do so.  That’s why it’ll always be friendly and trendy to fast in order to achieve the ultimate level of atonement.  Your deity will thank you…and so will your guilty conscience.

October 8, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Entertainment, Health, Methods, Music, Religion | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Turn Your Kids Into Cash!

Greetings potential parentals.  If you’ve got a baby on the way but are a little worried that it’s not your nature to nurture, maybe you should stop asking yourself the question, “how do I take care of my baby?”  and start asking, “How can my baby take care of me?”  Put down that volume of Dr. Spock and make sure your new son or daughter is ready to rock with the latest friendly trend of turning your kids into cash!

Now we here at the Trendliest aren’t condoning selling your newborns onto the black market (just yet).  We’re merely suggesting that you start preparing your child for a successful career early on so they can literally and figuratively stop sucking at your teat before they ever start while chipping in a little towards your monthly rent or mortgage payment that their birth has helped make more difficult to pay.

First off, the road to success starts in the womb and certainly is paved with both placenta and gold.  While your child is developing, don’t underestimate the importance of music.  Play as much meaningless pop as you can so when your child finally pops out he or she will be influenced by the songs of relatively young idols like Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne, appearing at an early age to want to follow their career path.  Once your child is old enough to hum or sing, invoke the Lynne Spears Method of Parenting as laid out in her book, Through The Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.

Goodbye Dr. Spock, Hello Lynne!

Goodbye Dr. Spock, Hello Lynne!

The most important part of this method is never saying no to your child.  If you’ve done your job correctly so far, your son/daughter will want to be a singer. Cater to all their performance whims and make sure to constantly encourage them in their performance field.  Be sure to purchase a big stereo with a karaoke feature and a top of the line microphone so that they might practice at home for all of their big auditions, it’ll pay for itself. Tell your child they have the most beautiful voice in the world and that they should take singing and dancing lessons and go on auditions so mommy and daddy won’t be poor no more.

As for education, School is a formality when you’re getting your degree in Showbiz.    No matter how unready your child may be, ignoring education will put a fast track to success and a slightly slower track to the mental ward or rehab, but the latter two results are just minor obstacles to maintaining a fabulous career.

This Could Be Your Child!

No Wait...This Could Be Your Child...Much Better

No Wait...This Could Be Your Child...Much Better

If you’ve not succeeded in Ms. Spears method your child might want to be an NFL Place kicker, a fireman or Chief of Police, in which case you should probably start practicing kickoffs, taking your child to the firehouse to practice drills, or just having a gun in the house to hone those respective skills.  After all catering to your childs first whim and encouraging them to be whatever they want to be as long as it has the potential to earn you cash is the trendliest way to parent.

It's Never Too Early To Start Getting Them Ready

It's Never Too Early To Start Getting Them Ready

October 2, 2008 Posted by | Careers, Education, Family, Methods, Music, Parenting | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment