The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Sexing Up The City

Say Me-trend-sexuals, is it just us or is there more estrogen in the air than when a Celine Dion dance remix is playing on the radio? Or maybe that’s just the smell of Manhattan’s most prominent mixologists fixing up special Sextinis for the trendliest film event of the summer….The Sex and The City movie release.

Mmm…Sextinis

That’s right, you can stop re-watching the DVD’s of all six seasons and taking the Sex and The City bus tour every weekend afternoon just to pass by the alley where Samantha gave that twenty-three year old hustler a hand job, because starting today multiplexes all over the country will be packed with ladies and trend-tleman eager to see their favorite show hit the big screen. Meanwhile, most bars will resemble a complete sausage fest with men blankly staring at each other wondering why there are no women around.

We’re Totally A Charlotte

Yes, nearly four years have passed since the hit tv series Sex and The City took a bow and some large questions still loom. But before we get to those vital questions take a sip from your Cosmo and answer us this…Are you a Carrie or a Miranda? We here at the Trendliest totally fancy ourselves a Charlotte…you know, because we’re totally brunettes…and a little less skanky and also if you caught wind of the trailer apparently she doesn’t shave down there (wink, wink).

OMG! Will She or Won’t She?

So what’s all the fuss about? Are you kidding? The majority of the trend tracking world spent nearly 2800 minutes over the span of six years totally watching their fave aging spinsters wear fabulous outfits as they brunched at all the Manhattans hot spots, while Carrie took her time to decide if she wanted to marry Big. Frankly, we can’t take the anticipation any longer. We’re hungry for more deliberation and by the looks of the trailer, that’s what we’re going to get. The film has a running time of nearly two and half hours. That’s almost five episodes worth of should I or shouldn’t I? We can’t wait.

Maybe after the movie ends we’lll finally have some closure and some Trendlitinis at a Jejune in the Meat Packing district. However, if Carrie decides she shouldn’t marry her hunk, that would be just fine by us because that would lead to a sequel. And if you’ve been doing your part and reading trendliest all along, you’d know sequels are trendly.

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May 30, 2008 Posted by | Film | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Zoo York City

Hello you trendly party animals! We here at the Trendliest know that you’re absolutely exhausted from your Memorial day weekend festivities. In fact, we’ve decided that from now on it’s probably best you leave the horsing around to the horses, zebras, and unicorns. However, if you do feel the inclination to live vicariously through animals that know how to get down, there’s no trendlier place to visit than the Zoo.“Where’d This Fence Thing Come From?”


Yes, ever since land developers began putting up fences and accidentally blocking rare animals from escaping from small expanses close to their homes, zoos have been a hot spot for both family and adult entertainment alike, as well as serving as a valuable learning environment for the potentially criminally inclined. Zoos not only provide bestiality enthusiasts an ideal environment for getting off on watching caged helpless arthropods yearn for freedom from the insides of their relatively miniature enclosures, they also provides parents with an ideal setting to teach their mischievous children valuable lessons about the harsh realities of incarceration by showing them an entire family of tigers living in an expanse one thousandth the size of their natural habitat.

A Dejected Family of Tigers After Their latest Escape Plot is Thwarted

However, there’s more to Zoos than their ability to exhibit the repressive powers of fences; many visitors also get the invaluable experience of observing artificial environments undisturbed by their animal inhabitants who prefer to sleep in their man made caves away from the crowds. Imagine the thrill of being able to view a rock formation where a Kodiak bear will decide to sit once the zoo closes and the spectators have left.

While some animals shy away from the parental paparazzi eager to teach their children of the wonders of nature, others relish the limelight displaying their knack for frequent defecation and sexual desire. Monkeys are particularly adept at both, pairing them with their athletic penchant for projecting the results of both activities towards a fascinated crowd.

And they got…it…on

Yes trendly boys and girls, the zoo provides potential visitors with plenty of activity beyond their wildest expectations…and it sure beats sitting at home on your couch and watching that BBC Planet Earth show. After all, the trendliest way to experience nature is being right there in the thick of it.

May 27, 2008 Posted by | family entertainment, Leisure | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment