Do you constantly have the urge do paint your skin blue and have sex with the earth and its creatures while wearing 3D glasses? Were you disappointed on your last trip to the book store when you found out Rosetta Stone doesn’t make a Na’vi edition? Do you refer to your social skills as “Unobtainium”? Nevermind calling your psychotherapist to see what’s plaguing you, we here at your friendly guide to the latest trends, have the diagnosis and it’s got nothing to do with murder. You seem to have come down with decidedly trendly affliction known as Post-Avatar Depression.
You’re not alone film fanatics. Well, okay, you’re mostly alone. Rest assured there are several others like you; those moved to the point of obsession by a cliched plot, breathtaking CGI animation and glow-in-the-dark horses with eight legs instead of four. Ever since James Cameron opened the Pandora’s box that is his multi-billion dollar grossing opus Avatar, impressionable people with nothing better to do have envisioned themselves as inhabitants of a fictional planet rich in natural beauty and ten foot-tall blue people with superior physical skills to someone who just spent three hours gorging themselves on butter-slathered popcorn.
These human specimens who possess the rare ability to care entirely too much about an alien environment while not necessarily exhibiting any sense of urgency about their own, have taken to wallowing in the mire over the fact that they will never be able find themselves in the utopia that exists mostly in the mind of the guy who directed Piranha Part Two: The Spawning. Still, they’ve grown hostile to their fellow members of the human race who would sooner destroy natural resources than wait in line to meet Zoe Saldana at the next Comicon just to have that awkward moment when they tell her, “I see you.”
While the reality is all too disheartening, most wanNa’vis have found ways of coping with this hip film-based mental illness. For some it’s as simple as listening to Leona Lewis’s Celine Dion-esque “I See You” theme on a loop, while others have been forced to give into the realization that Avatar is just Ferngully mixed with Dances With Wolves, and still a few brave souls have pressed on living in their thin blue skin eagerly awaiting the sequel. Because, really what’s more friendly and trendy than not admitting you have a problem in the first place.
Greetings fellow members of the all-powerful Trenderati. It’s 2009 and Trendliest has returned from it’s lengthy travel hiatus with a sunny new outlook on what will be friendly and trendy for the year ahead. Having just trotted halfway around the globe, it’s only natural that our first find of ’09 is this year’s destination du jour. While the eyes of the world seem focused on the glow emanating from the United States of America thanks to the inauguration of their first President that won’t be using bronzer, travelers might feel the need to avert their eyes in order to see what the next friendly trendy hotspot on the horizon is.
Provided they’ve tilted their gaze in the right direction, they’ll come face to face with the nanooks of the Great White North. Having received scant spotlight as the land of the free and the home of the Quebecois, we here at Trendliest think it’s about time Canada got it’s destinationly due.
Canada is much more than Britain’s frigid, nearly uninhabitable, non-resistant consolation prize for colonization. It’s the only actual area in the world where Queen Elizabeth II still holds sway over any important government issue. Despite, not actually being in charge of itself, the Great White North has plenty going for it, with a plethora for activities and culture for tourists to sink their heels into provided the ice isn’t too thin.
Not only does North America’s other other country bear responsibility as the birthplace of such rich cultural concepts as Curling, Celine Dion , and confusion; but they also play host with the most to a variety of cities with funny names. Once inside the borders one can get hearty laughs by posing in front of signs for cities like Bamff, Guelph, and Saskatoon. If one so chooses they might enter one of those cities and take in a hockey match or perch themselves on a street corner to watch the ever popular All Canada Constant Dogsled 500 Race pass through town for a fleeting moment.
While many of the world’s destinations have the fear of falling to international terrorism, Canadians are so confident in their safety that Canadian-born Counter-Terrorism expert Kiefer Sutherland and his daughter, Elisha Cuthbert have been outsourced to the United States track down potential threats, while Pamela Anderson uses her special skills to keep tabs on some “Very Important People” in the Los Angeles area.
Yes, Canada has it all, safety, curling, and did we mention the 2010 Winter Olympics? Oh we forgot that one. In that case, Canada will be a friendly and trendy destination all the way into 2010. Rejoice, eh?