The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Be A Flip Flopper

Hey Trendliticians! Were you for the war before you were against the war? Are you looking for snug shoes that reflect the same comfort you feel with your political stance? Well then we here at Trendliest recommend investing in a pair of flip flops.

Originally known as “thongs,” but changed to the more erudite “flip flop” after a successful trademark infringement lawsuit filed by pint-sized R&B singer Sisqo who was riding high on his 2000 hit “Thong Song,” flip flops are an easy-breezy way to ensure the bottom of your feet avoid getting dirty, while still allowing them to be vulnerable to shards of glass, so that you may one day also file a frivolous lawsuit against the owner of the property where your foot laceration occurred (hopefully it’s city property).

Prevented Use of The Term Thonger

Aside offering limited covering and defense for your toes, flip flops are largely associated with being an ideal footwear option when dealing with the “heat.” This caused quite a misunderstanding during the 2004 elections, when many Republicans repeatedly accused then Democratic candidate John Kerry of being a flip flopper. For some reason many voters took this to mean Kerry was being charged with being indecisive, when it actually meant that he would have been an easy, breezy fit if he were employed to take the heat of the office of the President of The United States of America. Whether or not he would be able to protect it from shards of glass would remain to be seen.

Kerry: Easy. Breezy. Didn’t Necessarily Protect Against Shards of Glass

Luckily, this small misunderstanding has been cleared up, and with the weather hotter than ever and the 2008 election heating up…the people have spoken. And you know what they’re saying? “Flip Flops are friendly and trendy,” also “Yes we Can!”

July 31, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Fashion, Music, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Wires

Hello trend-browsers, are you reading this post pants-less from the comfort of your very own kitchen, or better yet, the comfort of your porcelain throne supplied by the kind folks at American Standard? Well, why not? We wrote this entire post from the john, so there’s no reason you shouldn’t be reading it from there. That is unless of course, you’re not hip to the latest friendly trend in technology, Wireless Internet.

Yes folks Wireless Internet is the wave of the present. Ever since the invention of the laptop in early 1980’s people have been in search of a reason to carry their computers around wherever they go. Prior to the its invention people would ferry their laptop computers around for the sole purpose of showing everyone else they had a laptop. How dull!

The First Laptop Sat On Your Lap and Played Asia Cassettes

The need for wireless internet was first realized by Al Gore, who during the 2000 race for the White House, desperately wanted to participate in a CNN viewer poll asking “Who Won The Election?” Unfortunately, Gore only had a desktop PC in his office that was several feet from his TV room that took more than a two minutes to boot up and log on, thus he never got his vote in. The then Vice President realized that if he had a laptop with some sort of wireless internet, he could’ve voted and his one vote may have made a marked difference in the poll which finished with an even 50-50 count.

Al Gore Tries Attempting to Get To CNN.COM Before The Poll Closes

Gore immediately attempted to share his new idea with Bill Gates, but unfortunately, the Microsoft principle was busy playing Duke Nukem over his dial up connection and the call never went through. The dejected President non-elect however contacted several other captains of industry as well as David Blaine and before the world knew it…wireless Internet was a reality.
“Why Am I Chatting With You From The Top of This Mountain?…I Guess Because I Can.”

Presently more than 68% of US residents are blessed with the miracle of a wireless web connection, the majority of whom use this technological blessing to monitor the statistics of whatever sporting event they are currently watching or to browse porn sites from whichever room in the house or at work they deem to be most private. Still some even use it to carry their computers to public parks and assure everyone within earshot that they’re having hilarious conversations with other people sporting similar technological capabilities. Yes, the wireless revolution has made being tethered to that bulky desktop a thing of the past, giving people the power to send instant messages to their friends no matter what they happen to be doing in the bathroom. Now that’s that we here at Trendliest call progress and it’s positively trendly.

June 2, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment