The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

I Swear To $#%$*

hand-on-bibleWitnesses for the trend-secution, do you SWEAR to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you blog?  You do?  Good, now place your hand on a copy of the Bible, Torah, Koran, Bhagavad Gita, or The Secret and say that all again because with all the swearing you’re going to be doing it’s going to be necessary to carry the Holy Book of your choice at all times seeing as Swearing is the hottest and friendliest trend currently sweeping the nation.

The verb “to swear” has had a short and rather glorious history.  It was derived from the surname of Charles F. Swayer, a teacher in 19th Century Britain.  Swayer was not a very good teacher due to the fact that he was not well-versed in virtually anything factual.  Often times whilst giving a lesson his students would mumble the word “bollocks” under their collective breath and sometimes out loud.  This incensed the educator and he demanded that whenever a student uttered such heinous word they pay a one shilling penalty by placing a coin on a designated plate on his desk.  This “Swayer plate” was a huge failure due to the fact that when one student would come up to place a shilling on the plate, they’d inevitably take another one back.

The Americanized "Swayer" Jar

The Americanized "Swayer" Jar

It was for this sole reason that Swayer was moved to invent the “jar”.  By having his students put their coins in a round, covered receptacle with a slit for change on top, his class could less obviously reimburse themselves with the shillings of others.  Not only did this invention revolutionize the teaching field, but went on to influence parenting as adults everywhere caught on to the Swayer Jar.  However, when the practice crossed the Atlantic and was adapted by Americans soon after, the name somehow was turned into the Swear Jar and the actual word that was once just a surname was perverted to mean multiple things, ranging from a promise to an expletive.

President Barack Obama Swears On National Television

President Barack Obama Swears On National Television

While the act of swearing has been long frowned upon by jar-wielding parents across the nation, ever since Barack Obama was sworn in as America’s 44th President, it’s more or less become an epidemic.  Everyone including Secretary of State Hillary Clinton,  dock workers in Detroit, Christian Bale on the set of Terminator 4, engaged couples in Des Moines,  expert witnesses in double murder trials, and Dane Cook have been uttering a variety of magical words  including “I do”, “I will”, and seven words we can’t say on this blog even though we’re not exactly policed by the FCC.  Whether we can say them or not, doesn’t make them any less trendly.  We promise.

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February 3, 2009 Posted by | Education, Language | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Never Break The Chain

Hello fellow members of the psychic trends network. Are you feeling a little superstitious today? Maybe that’s because you had a premonition that we’d be covering something that kind of has to do with your good and/or bad fortune. While there are several things beyond your control that determine your everyday fate such as horoscopes, mere coincidence and traffic and weather together…there is one friendly and trendy way to ensure that you always have good luck no matter what happens as long as you don’t mind being more than slightly annoying…and that’s the latest trend in communication, Chain letters.

The First “Chain” Letter, Track 5


Chain letters have been around since just after the release of Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album Rumours, when a Sacramento woman, after listening to the song “The Chain” for the 236th consecutive time was inspired to “never break the chain” her boyfriend had just broken, known as their relationship, by sending him 53 copies of the same letter stating “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again…and unless you send this letter to 15 more people, you’ll have bad luck for the rest of your life.” While her boyfriend didn’t mail the letter to anyone or get back together with her, he did come back three weeks later to pick up his Fleetwood Mac album. She considered this a small victory and never sent another letter again.

However, at least 12 of her 53 letters did accidentally reach the wrong recipients and confused them to the point where they felt it necessary to mail copies out to as many people as possible for fear that they may face the ultimate curse of life long bad luck at the hands of the anonymous psycho witch with an obsession for letter writing campaigns and Stevie Nicks. It’s this same letter that has been circulation for more than 30 years, though various adjustments have been made to bestow particular rewards on those who participate and incur certain penalties on those who do not. As for the aforementioned boyfriend…he’s now living in Billings, Montana with his wife and four kids… and if living in Billings, Montana with a wife and four kids isn’t validation that the hex of the chain letter works…then what pray tell is?

Brought Back Economy, Fleetwood Mac and Chain Letters

Since the 1970’s The chain letter has fallen in and out of popularity, enjoying a resurgence around the time of Bill Clinton’s 1992 Presidential Campaign thanks to the usage of “The Chain” as his campaign song. These days the chain letter is once again on the upswing due to Hillary Clinton’s candidacy and her choice of Fleetwood Mac’s slightly less inspiring “You Make Loving Fun” as her campaign song. Thanks to the miracle of email and social networking sites these kindly threats are much more easily delivered to a greater mass of people and adorned with pictures of kittens with just a click of a button, though some hard copies do circulate via the less than reliable postal service.

It’s even become trendly to turn blog posts in to chain letters. In other words, if you read this post and email it to 20 people in the next 15 minutes the love of your life will contact you and give you a massage and 45 cents will be donated to a little boy in Nova Scotia who desperately needs a matching Dolce & Gabbana belt to go with his sweet sunglasses. If you don’t email this blog post to 20 people…not only will you be accused of being totally untrendly…but you’ll also be dead before the dawn.

April 21, 2008 Posted by | Communication | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment