The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Make A List…Check It Twice

Hey trend-thusiasts, do you know what’s important to you? More importantly, do you know in what order those things are important to you? If you said no, or you’re still not sure perhaps you should attempt to use the trendliest way of ranking things – making a list.

Behold, The Original Copy of Ten Things You Shouldn’t Do!

Ever since Moses led the Jews out of Egypt on the heels of making a list of “The Ten Things that Would Totally Suck if they Befell the Egyptians for not Letting My People Go” (more recently known as “The Ten Plagues” thanks to that movie with Charlton Heston) making lists has been totally trendly. While Moses was the original list-maker he was soon trumped by the man upstairs who made a list of “Ten Things People Shouldn’t Do” (more recently known as “The Ten Commandments” thanks to that movie with Charlton Heston). This list was so rife with important items such as #1: Thou Shalt Not Kill and #11: Don’t Eat Shellfish that they became

so much engrained into the collective conscious of mankind that today they are referred to as “common sense” thanks to the handy pamphlet by Thomas”Charlton” Paine.

Bea Arthur #2 On The Hottest 100 of 1976…Can you guess who was #1?
(Hint: It rhymes with Harrah Hawcett)

Lists have gone through a complete evolution since the days of yore and while most people ignore that formerly trendly “common sense” list, the advent of post-its and magazines has given new life to the process of making lists. Lists not only help by numerically telling people what to do and how to do said things, but they also serve to help by telling people the order of betterness or importance where most things in the world stand. Without lists we’d never be able to know who the “Hottest 100 Women” in the world are in any given year or who the “Best College Football Team” is on a week-by-week basis. Why without lists most people would resemble a lost puppy shopping for groceries in the woods.

Ol’ St. Nick: The Most Scrupulous Listmaker of Them All

Perhaps the most successful utilizer of the eternal list craze is Santa Claus, who makes two lists each year, one consisting of those who are naughty and one consisting of those who are less naughty. Not only does he bother to make this list, but he checks it twice just to be sure it’s
accurate, which is more than can be said for those who compile Spin Magazine’s annual “Top 40 Albums of the Year” list.

June 16, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Books Are So Last Year

Hello trendliest fans. Do you love reading but hate all of the distraction created by the radioactive glow of the Internet and the overall length of books? Is The Da Vinci Code too complex for a delicate mind such as your own that would rather be indulging in important matters such as finding out which sexy starlet prefers dating normal guys and what the best ways are to tell if your man is cheating? Maybe you’d even like to read lists alerting you to all the up and coming travel destinations, Strokes albums or STD’s that are going to be cool in the coming year? Well, if all of this sounds appealing to you, maybe we can interest you in the friendliest literary trend to hit the shelves since road maps….the magazine.

Silas Marner by George Eliot killed more people than The Scabies Epidemic

Magazines have been around ever since the 1880’s when most human beings were illiterate. To most of the illiterati, reading a lengthy book such as Watership Down, The Joy of Sex, or Silas Marner was equated with death, because it took so long to sound the words out. Most people only read one book in their lifetime. The publishing industry swiftly responded by releasing Life Magazine which mostly consisted of pretty pictures of nature and people dying while not reading. This remedied the death sentence which was the practice of reading anything by Steinbeck.

It took a long time for the magazine industry to flourish as there was much disease and strife on the industrialized landscape. The only interest most people had was “life” since it was so precious and fleeting, they didn’t have time to focus on their “House & Garden” or even “Juggs”. For a brief spell in the 1940’s “War” and “Japanese Internment Monthly” were a big hit on the periodical front with a great deal of Americans, but “Life” was still the most popular focus of the widespread masses.

Some Magazines Have No Target Audience

With Post-WWII prosperity, the magazine industry really took off. People finally had the money to focus on other interests like themselves, model trains, fields, streams, and mercenary work. Nowadays, with scores of technological advances the choices of hobbies and the magazines that reflect them are infinite. Why there are nearly 70 magazines about staying “In Touch” with what our favorite “Entertainment” stars are up to “weekly” and nearly as many that serve the sole purpose of allowing teen girls to relay embarrassing stories of getting their period. So what are your interests? No matter what you’re into, whether you like Lizards or Country Rock there’s probably a magazine you can pick up to read all about it in short bursts, because reading a book about those would most certainly take up way too much time. And as we all know…we need that time to live, because life will always be trendly, provided there are plenty of pictures.

June 10, 2008 Posted by | Literature | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment