The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Be A Flip Flopper

Hey Trendliticians! Were you for the war before you were against the war? Are you looking for snug shoes that reflect the same comfort you feel with your political stance? Well then we here at Trendliest recommend investing in a pair of flip flops.

Originally known as “thongs,” but changed to the more erudite “flip flop” after a successful trademark infringement lawsuit filed by pint-sized R&B singer Sisqo who was riding high on his 2000 hit “Thong Song,” flip flops are an easy-breezy way to ensure the bottom of your feet avoid getting dirty, while still allowing them to be vulnerable to shards of glass, so that you may one day also file a frivolous lawsuit against the owner of the property where your foot laceration occurred (hopefully it’s city property).

Prevented Use of The Term Thonger

Aside offering limited covering and defense for your toes, flip flops are largely associated with being an ideal footwear option when dealing with the “heat.” This caused quite a misunderstanding during the 2004 elections, when many Republicans repeatedly accused then Democratic candidate John Kerry of being a flip flopper. For some reason many voters took this to mean Kerry was being charged with being indecisive, when it actually meant that he would have been an easy, breezy fit if he were employed to take the heat of the office of the President of The United States of America. Whether or not he would be able to protect it from shards of glass would remain to be seen.

Kerry: Easy. Breezy. Didn’t Necessarily Protect Against Shards of Glass

Luckily, this small misunderstanding has been cleared up, and with the weather hotter than ever and the 2008 election heating up…the people have spoken. And you know what they’re saying? “Flip Flops are friendly and trendy,” also “Yes we Can!”

July 31, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Fashion, Music, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Accidental Terrorist

Odds are if you’re checking out this here site you’re on the hunt for something utterly friendly and trendy. You may also be wondering if there are trends you might have the good fortune to discover on your own. It would be easy for us to say no so that you might continue being absolutely dependant on us for finding out just what in the world is hop and hot, but the truth is there are some hot new fads you can stumble upon all by your self…the latest of which is being accidentally and irresponsibly labeled a “terrorist.”

While being accidentally labeled a terrorist goes as far back as the 1996 Olympics when Richard Jewell “bombed” a perfectly good Olympic venue all in the name of drawing the attention away from the fact that a Bulgarian, not an American participant captured three gold medals in weighlifting…the resurgence in the trend can be credited to the heinous attacks of September 11th. Since the government’s irresponsible handling of the events leading to an actual terrorist attack, they’ve stepped up efforts to compensate for the fact that they’re not doing enough for homeland security by making sure all bars have Toby Keith albums on their jukebox. Additionaly, the government has made efforts to raise public paranoia levels with the “if you see a brown person doing something, say something” slogan and their special hotline for reporting talkative cab drivers.

Rachael Ray Threatens Freedom With A Dynamite Coolatta

However, it’s not only poor brown people who’ve had the fortune of participating in this latest trend; Celebrities are also at the forefront of this fad. America’s Sweetest Pitchperson Rachael Ray was sent to Abu Ghraib after dressing up like Yasser Arafat in a Dunkin’ Donuts ad where she was then subject to the trendly practice of waterboarding. Even Presidential frontrunner Barack Obama and his wife aren’t immune to trendliness. The two were placed under heavy scrutiny after engaging in the “Al Qaeda Fist Bump” after a lively speech about overthrowing the current Republican regime.

The Friction from Said Fist Bump Usually Creates Explosions of Epic Proportions

Don’t be trend-orists…If the two most popular people in the greatest nation in the world are getting their accidental terrorism on…what are you waiting for? Shouldn’t you be arousing suspicion by leaving a suspicious package on the train that just so happens to look like your pocket book or maybe letting your oven burner run a bit before lighting a match to create a huge gas explosion in your house? Either of those would be da bomb, and totally trendly ways to arouse suspicion that you are in fact a terrorist.

July 9, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Government, Methods, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Never Break The Chain

Hello fellow members of the psychic trends network. Are you feeling a little superstitious today? Maybe that’s because you had a premonition that we’d be covering something that kind of has to do with your good and/or bad fortune. While there are several things beyond your control that determine your everyday fate such as horoscopes, mere coincidence and traffic and weather together…there is one friendly and trendy way to ensure that you always have good luck no matter what happens as long as you don’t mind being more than slightly annoying…and that’s the latest trend in communication, Chain letters.

The First “Chain” Letter, Track 5


Chain letters have been around since just after the release of Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album Rumours, when a Sacramento woman, after listening to the song “The Chain” for the 236th consecutive time was inspired to “never break the chain” her boyfriend had just broken, known as their relationship, by sending him 53 copies of the same letter stating “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again…and unless you send this letter to 15 more people, you’ll have bad luck for the rest of your life.” While her boyfriend didn’t mail the letter to anyone or get back together with her, he did come back three weeks later to pick up his Fleetwood Mac album. She considered this a small victory and never sent another letter again.

However, at least 12 of her 53 letters did accidentally reach the wrong recipients and confused them to the point where they felt it necessary to mail copies out to as many people as possible for fear that they may face the ultimate curse of life long bad luck at the hands of the anonymous psycho witch with an obsession for letter writing campaigns and Stevie Nicks. It’s this same letter that has been circulation for more than 30 years, though various adjustments have been made to bestow particular rewards on those who participate and incur certain penalties on those who do not. As for the aforementioned boyfriend…he’s now living in Billings, Montana with his wife and four kids… and if living in Billings, Montana with a wife and four kids isn’t validation that the hex of the chain letter works…then what pray tell is?

Brought Back Economy, Fleetwood Mac and Chain Letters

Since the 1970’s The chain letter has fallen in and out of popularity, enjoying a resurgence around the time of Bill Clinton’s 1992 Presidential Campaign thanks to the usage of “The Chain” as his campaign song. These days the chain letter is once again on the upswing due to Hillary Clinton’s candidacy and her choice of Fleetwood Mac’s slightly less inspiring “You Make Loving Fun” as her campaign song. Thanks to the miracle of email and social networking sites these kindly threats are much more easily delivered to a greater mass of people and adorned with pictures of kittens with just a click of a button, though some hard copies do circulate via the less than reliable postal service.

It’s even become trendly to turn blog posts in to chain letters. In other words, if you read this post and email it to 20 people in the next 15 minutes the love of your life will contact you and give you a massage and 45 cents will be donated to a little boy in Nova Scotia who desperately needs a matching Dolce & Gabbana belt to go with his sweet sunglasses. If you don’t email this blog post to 20 people…not only will you be accused of being totally untrendly…but you’ll also be dead before the dawn.

April 21, 2008 Posted by | Communication | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment