The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Be A Flip Flopper

Hey Trendliticians! Were you for the war before you were against the war? Are you looking for snug shoes that reflect the same comfort you feel with your political stance? Well then we here at Trendliest recommend investing in a pair of flip flops.

Originally known as “thongs,” but changed to the more erudite “flip flop” after a successful trademark infringement lawsuit filed by pint-sized R&B singer Sisqo who was riding high on his 2000 hit “Thong Song,” flip flops are an easy-breezy way to ensure the bottom of your feet avoid getting dirty, while still allowing them to be vulnerable to shards of glass, so that you may one day also file a frivolous lawsuit against the owner of the property where your foot laceration occurred (hopefully it’s city property).

Prevented Use of The Term Thonger

Aside offering limited covering and defense for your toes, flip flops are largely associated with being an ideal footwear option when dealing with the “heat.” This caused quite a misunderstanding during the 2004 elections, when many Republicans repeatedly accused then Democratic candidate John Kerry of being a flip flopper. For some reason many voters took this to mean Kerry was being charged with being indecisive, when it actually meant that he would have been an easy, breezy fit if he were employed to take the heat of the office of the President of The United States of America. Whether or not he would be able to protect it from shards of glass would remain to be seen.

Kerry: Easy. Breezy. Didn’t Necessarily Protect Against Shards of Glass

Luckily, this small misunderstanding has been cleared up, and with the weather hotter than ever and the 2008 election heating up…the people have spoken. And you know what they’re saying? “Flip Flops are friendly and trendy,” also “Yes we Can!”

July 31, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Fashion, Music, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Opposites Attract

Hey Untrendly Haters, What’s down? We here at Trendliest hope you’re having the positively dreadful day that you don’t deserve. Say you readers seem to be a little confused. We’re not accusing you of disliking our site or saying we hope your life is awful (or aren’t we?), but if that’s what you took from the first sentence, you obviously haven’t caught up to the latest conversational trend…declaring opposite day.

Marie Antoinette Choosing Her Words Carefully…But Not Carefully Enough

Opposite day is when you don’t mean anything you say, but rather the exact opposite. It was first utilized by Marie Antoinette during the French Revolution as “le jour contraire”, when she uttered the famous words “let them eat cake” referring to the peasant class. Unaware that the peasant class had no knowledge of the new aristocratic practice they were insulted by the Queen’s ignorance to their plight. That being said, the intended sentiment of “Let them eat feces” probably would have resulted in a much more swift death via guillotine.

Herbert Hoover: Staunch Proponent of Opposite Day

The practice of Le Jour Contraire traveled overseas in time for the 1928 Presidential Election when Herbert Hoover declared that every American family would have “a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage,” after which he was heard uttering sinisterly to a campaign staffer, “I hate opposite day..ha…ha”. Again, unaware of what day it was, the country bought Hoover’s message of hope, hook, line, and sinker. Nearly a year later the country was mired in the Great Depression or as Hoover referred to it in other prominent addresses to a struggling nation, “The Wee Excitement.” Nearly Fifty years later Ronald Reagan famously invoked opposite day rules yet again when speaking of “trickle-down economics.”

Unbeknownst To Half Of This Crowd…They Were Rooting For The Same Person

Until recently, the mystery of Opposite Day was hidden in the Presidential Book of Secrets, though a few fellow politicians that happened to be members of The Skulls starring Joshua Jackson, shared the clandestine code with fellow fraternity members who in trying to lessen the organization’s iron clad grip on their lives leaked it’s practice to the proletariat and elementary school children. The trend spread so fast throughout the country without the proper rules for it’s use being disseminated. This situation came to a head during the 2000 Presidential election when the majority of voters were unaware that they were voting on an opposite day (with opposite side of the street parking rules in effect) and stamped their ballots for Al Gore accidentally handing over the reins of the position of most powerful office in the world to George W. Bush. Luckily, Mr. Bush ended up being the right man for the job, leading the United States and the world to eight years of peace and prosperity…and really there’s nothing more trendly than peace, prosperity and continued economic gain…well, except for opposite day.

June 23, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Language, Methods, Social Trends | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment