The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Show Her (And Everyone Else) How Much You Care

Hello trendly soldiers in the army of love, is that your face we see firmly planted in the bosom and/or crotch of your lover? Oh don’t stop on our account. We here at The Trendliest are all for your not so covert romantic tryst. Not only do we think your need to consummate your relationship in our presence is rather touching, but it’s also overflowing with trendliness. After all, public displays of affection are all the rage these days.

Seeing couples out on street corners sucking face no matter what the weather, is pretty much the norm no matter where in the world you or Carmen Sandiego are. Have you ever stopped to think why you’ve managed to happen upon so many used condoms while strolling the park or traipsing down a sidestreet? Well, those condoms strewn about are a result of a public display of affection…or a quickie attempt at spreading chlamydia. Either way it was done where others might see the act take place, because at least one of the parties involved totally gets off on doing “it” (“it: meaning affection) in public.

THIS often leads to….

THIS!

Public displays of affection or “PDAs” as they’re commonly referred to by onlookers or Palm Treo users, aren’t limited to outdoor locations. They can occur in a busy store or restaurant. Really what’s better than showing the unsupervised neighborhood children running around at the local coffee shop how your tongue looks in your significant other’s mouth as you inform her of your pressing need to be “inside her”? After all, they have to learn what love is some time and seeing as their local Republican Congressman successfully lobbied to remove sexual education from their school’s curriculum they’d otherwise end up flying blind. However, thanks to trendly public displays of affection, kids can learn about the birds and the bees in a more realistic, less sterile environment such as Barnes and Noble.

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May 20, 2008 Posted by | Romance, Social Trends | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Clarinet Hero


Hey Trend Stars, Do you like to rock out with your cochlea held firmly in place within your inner ear? Your friendly guides to the trend universe here at The Trendliest certainly do. However, we don’t like to rock out to the sound industrial noise or crying children, we prefer to”get the led out” with a healthy dose of music. For our ears there’s no sound trendlier than the sweet song emitted by, you guessed it, the Clarinet. Formerly referred to as the “Licorice Stick” due to the fact that it was it was invented by Charles Q. Licorice who used it as the first prototype for flavored edible wood, the original product manufactured unsuccessfully by the Twizzler corporation, this single-reeded sparkplug has been a pivotal element to all of the hottest tunes rising up the Billboard 100 charts. Artists as diverse as 50 Cent and and The Game are busting the rhymes with backing beats adorned with squeaky but sultry clarinet loops. Even Saxophone superstar Kenny G recently retired his tenor tool to get all handsy with the trendy friendly tunemaker.

So why all the fuss over this influential instrument. Well, we’d like to think it has something to do with the release of mega-successful music-oriented video games like “Woodwind Hero”, “Marching Band” and “Jazz Band”. The extreme difficulty of the latter has led kids to put down their virtual versions and actually get acquainted with the real thing. Young males seem hop to the fact that chicks dig musicians and as a result have begun taking up the Clarinet in droves. It’s a good thing their school music programs are so well funded. They’re practically teaching their kids music and sex ed at the same time, which is certainly a trendly way to deal with school budget issues.
It’s not just kids who are involved, celebrities are also creating a Clarinet cacophony. Word on the street is uber-trendly Hollywood director Woody Allen met his wife-daughter after a pedophilia fueled performance by his Clarinet quintet. Perhaps she was a fan of his earlier films like Manhattan and Zelig, but we prefer to think it was the way he wielded that Licorice Stick. There’s something irresistibly trendy and friendly about someone who knows their way around a Clarinet.

April 4, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Education, Music, Sexuality | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment