The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Get Your Feet Wet

Greetings to the many fish in the trendly sea! Are you looking to get your feet wet, but would like to avoid the inevitable discomfort presented by the change of trying something new? Well the latest friendly trend in footwear won’t make you feel comfortable when you walk a mile in someone’s else’s shoes, but if you don’t like swimming because you have a crippling fear of getting any type of liquid all over your precious paws, perhaps you should try taking a swim in your socks. Not just any pair of knee high knits will shelter your instep from a high seas soaking, you’re going to need to slide into a pair of aqua socks.

Aqua socks were originally invented for Navy Seals (1990), when famous Hollywood actor Charlie Sheen’s contract rider demanded a special kind of shoe be created so that the Wall Street star’s toes wouldn’t get all prune-ish during the filming of water scenes. Once the on set military consult saw how well the shoes worked in terms of keeping digits dry and being less noisy than a pair of boots that tended to clip-clop making sneaking up on opponents impossible; he urged that the US government manufacture the fancy footwear for a special military issue.

Where It All Began

Where It All Began

After making their mark in military invasions of Canada, Panama, and Iraq; Aquasocks became all the rage. Brands like Speedo and Nike began churning out their own versions in their factories in Sri Lanka and Burma so that rich kids in summer camp could show off their ornate waterfront footwear and laugh at their less fortunate peers who could only afford flip flops.

Poor Children Too Ashamed To Show Their Faces

Poor Children Too Ashamed To Show Their Faces

Aqua socks went out of production for a long while as the companies that produced them were too busy moving their factories to places where they could get children who demanded less pay to produce them. Also, their small hands were perfect for reaching in between clogged, razor-sharp gears. However, with the start of the Iraq War in 2003, the NAVY Seals were back in action and in need of some sleek water wear. Just like that they were being massed produced once again, and thanks to the popularity of the war at home all of the kids have started slipping them on yet again…and if the kids are wearing them yet again, they must be friendly, trendy, and patriotic.

September 4, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Fashion, Government | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spice Up Your Summer!

Hey trendly parentals, are you looking for the a reasonable summer vacation idea, but you don’t want to have to go far from home and you certainly don’t want to have to take the kids? What if we told you that you and your spouse could have the vacation of a lifetime without ever leaving your house? Actually, you’ll have to leave three times. Once when you drive your children to the sleepaway camp bus, once on visiting day (optional), and once when you pick them up from the bus. Yes, sending your child away to sleepaway camp is the hottest trend in parental leisure next to joining a swingers club in your local metropolitan area.

Shipping your kids to sleepaway camp not only is a great way to teach your little ones vital social and athletic skills, but it’s also a wonderful way to get rid of them for an entire two months so you can finally fulfill that bizarre sexual fantasy you and your spouse have of “doing it” on their bed. While you’re at it you can even work the kitchen and the washing machine into the mix as well. After all, no one’s around to find you out about your sexual proclivities provided you don’t feel the need to broadcast it by starting your own adult website.

Not Presently Worried What Mommy and Daddy Are Up To

While little Timmy and Terry are kicking the soccer ball around, singing fun songs, learning swear words from counselors and taking their first steps towards sexual discovery by going on social raids and taking turns reading aloud from Penthouse Forum; parents can take comfort in knowing that for an entire eight weeks their children won’t be scarred by any memories of walking in on daddy wearing a ball gag or seeing mommy with a whip and a double-sided vibrating dildo…unless of course they find the sordid photos and/or videotape of the event haphazardly laying around the house come Autumn.

Sometimes Mommy Wants Daddy To Call Her “Daddy”

While the end of Summer may seem bittersweet as the arrival of your children ultimately calls into effect a coitus interruptus, at least you can finally go back to being a loving parent. Though it may take a couple of weeks to regain your physical parenting capabilities on account of the lingering soreness from the two months worth of sexual intercourse. You know what they say, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and being a stronger parent is certainly on top of the list of that which is friendly and trendy.

June 4, 2008 Posted by | Leisure | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment