The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Go Floral On Their Asses!

Hey Trendwipers! Do you use plain ol’ white TP when it’s time to do a number two? We here at Trendliest know that marshmallow hued two-ply can be such a snooze. Are you looking to spruce up your poop up? Well if transforming your throne area into a botanical garden sounds at all appealing, there’s no trendlier way to do so then by investing in some floral print toilet tissue.

Rather than be tethered to your toilet with the latest copy of Fine Gardening, floral print paper brings those lovely lillies to the lavatory or those charming carnations to the comfort of your can, without having to utilize that bidet as a flowerpot. While you may not fancy the smell of roses you can take comfort in knowing that these will eventually smell like poo poo. Perhaps the trendliest part about using these sunflower strewn squares is that rather than feel as if you’re using some processed product from a paper mill, each azalea adorned area harkens back to a simpler time when human beings tidied their down there area by brushing leaves and other assorted plant parts against their backside. Yes, floral print toilet tissue certainly brings us back to our roots even if those roots are printed with ink.

July 28, 2008 Posted by | design, Hygiene | , , , | Leave a comment

Keeping Up With The Jobses

Hey Trendly Spenders are you still enjoying the iPhone you bought way back in 1982, the one that ran on MS-DOS and used a dial up modem. Is your iPod Touch totally out of touch because it’s only running on Japanther OSX? We here at Trendliest think it’s time you got hop to the latest trend, constantly upgrading your personal belongings to keep up with each successive version released.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen there’s no better way to flaunt your massive quantities of disposable income than by sitting in front of your local computer store for fifteen days prior to the release of the new eToothbrush (the world’s first bluetooth toothbrush) so that you might be the first to buy the newer model that holds eight more KB of RAM and two more cubic milliliters of Crest than it’s previous incarnation that you bought just two months prior.

Looks Like It’s Time For An Upgrade

These days technology moves fast and if your new MP3 Player doesn’t have the ability to sync up with your tea kettle or if you can’t check the weather forecast by utilizing your toilet bowl’s main frame computer then you’re hopelessly behind the times and will undoubtedly be the laughing stock of your horrible friends.

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

To paraphrase Tom Petty, “Waiting in line to upgrade all your gadgets is the hardest part.” However it is totally worth it and in no way makes you a techno-geek, at least according to “Techno Geek Monthly Magazine”. You’ll be just like the millions of other people queued up for the latest releases out of their fondness for long lines, their need to brag about technical capabilities to compensate for a lack of physical and mental advantages, as well as a genuine desire to engage in heated discussions about ethernet ports. Often times lasting relationships are formed solely on the basis of the latter during these waits because really what else are you going to do after talking about ethernet ports besides make out. As everyone knows, any situation that may lead to an upgrade of your love life will always take the trendly cake. Plus, being in a steamy relationship is much trendlier when you’re sending dirty text messages on the latest Blackberry.

July 16, 2008 Posted by | Electronics, Grooming, Technology | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment