The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

Funemployment!

Howdy, friendly trendy blue collar folk.  Are you too busy working your fingers to the bone  and putting food on your table for your family to keep up with the Kardashians?  Well, don’t let Khloe, Kim, Kara, Karl, Kami, Karter, Kevlar, and Brody do all of the partying.  Drop the hero act and get with zero pack.  After all, the family that does nothing productive for society is the family that gets the most endorsement money.  Are we right or are we right?  (We know we’re right.)  While you’re working the assembly line those “talented” kids are busy working the Conga line and still making much more loot than you ever will…unless you take advantage of a little friendly trend we’d like to call Unemployment.

3 of The Kardashians Try To Break The World Record For Hours Spent Having Fun Dancing With A Pole

3 of The Kardashians Try To Break The World Record For Hours Spent Having Fun Dancing With A Pole

Unemployment is the sole reason all of the children of famous people have more than enough free time to partake in glamorous events like making their own sex tapes, dancing with the stars, walking the Grammy Red Carpet and filming a reality show for E! Think about it, if you didn’t have that pesky job, you could be skiing the Swiss Alps (until your money ran out assuming you decided not to pay your rent), writing a blog like this, or spending the entirety of your day doling out your previously hard earned cash at the local strip club away from they watchful eye of your wife and kids, but delightfully close to a beautiful woman named Sapphire.

Hello Sapphire!

Hello Sapphire!

There’s never been a better time to reap the benefits of Funemployment™ as corporations around the world are eager to get all their once employees a chance to live the life of the rich and famous,  in essence saying, “Hey Brody! Get out of here.  Go out and have a blast,” by terminating the jobs of their workers.  And with unemployment levels at their highest rate since the early 1990’s, millions upon millions of former workers are experiencing the good life that comes with standing on that unemployment line in the hopes that it will eventually be lined with paparazzi clamoring to take fabulous photos of the “less is more” fortunate.

An Army of Newly Unemployed Workers Raise Their Pink Slip In Delight

An Army of Newly Unemployed Workers Raise Their Pink Slip In Delight

The best part of Funemployment! is the pay.  While it’s true you’d probably get substantially less than you originally made when you still had a job, you never had the time to enjoy all that cash you were making anyway.  Raking in less coin just means you’ll value the things you spend every last precious penny on provided it has nothing to do with providing for your family.  Seriously, there’s nothing friendly and trendy about free time, if you’ve gotta worry about serious issues like bills and rent.  That’s why we call it Funemployment!

February 10, 2009 Posted by | Careers, Culture, Economy, Entertainment, Family, family entertainment, Money, Television | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Come Here Often?

Hey Trendly ladies and gentlemen. We don’t think we’ve seen you here before. Do you come here often? Oh, you’re a regular Trendliest reader. Oh, then odds are we won’t have to convince you to come home with us, but if you were new to this site we’d lay on the charm via the use of the trendliest method of seduction, The Pick-Up line.

The pick-up line originated in the mid 1970’s when two Americans, in preparation for a night out at the Montreal clubs, flipped through a French-English dictionary to figure out how to ask French Canadians if they want to have sex. They came up with “Do you want to go to bed with me?” or “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Unfortunately the two men in question were extremely ugly and ended up being turned down by every woman they met that evening…including two or three prostitutes who when later asked said they preferred the honest approach of a simple hello. Luckily, for the two men in question they turned their sexual woes into the smash hit “Lady Marmalade” and even though no women ever believed them when they tried to impress them with their songwriting credits, they ended up very rich…and alone.

Preferred A Simple Hello

The pick-up line has since evolved into an increasingly awkward yet charming art with literally thousands of permutations on the original formula. Most of these enticing inquiries are only successful when the person doing the wooing is dressed in a ridiculous outfit and has had his or her tips professionally frosted.

The following is a list of some of the more popular pick up lines that are sure to help you achieve the friendly and trendy goal of getting the object of your affection to notice you because you’ll be talking to them.

1. Yo bitch…Can I holla?

2. I can see your pants in that mirror…I’m in that mirror. I think both me and your pants are in that mirror.

3. You’re pretty like Stevie Nicks.

Stevie Nicks…The Current Gold Standard of Beauty

4. I’m Enrique Iglesias.

5. Shall I phone you or nudge you?

6. When we get out of jail…I’m going to love you forever…if we get out of jail.

7. I lease a ’95 Chrysler Sebring.

’95 Sebring- The Crown Jewel of Chrysler

8. When you stepped out of heaven did they have to kill someone to make an angel to replace you…because I think killing is morally reprehensible.

9. When in Rome or wherever it is we are, do me.

10. Twenty dollars for one song!

Hopefully, these lines can be of some assistance in curing your lovelorn state, but you’ll never know unless you get out there and put them to the test. The proof is in the trendly pudding.

August 5, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Methods, Romance, Social Trends | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Trendliness in Action: Pranks- Jeff Ehrhardt

Hello Trend Trackers, We here at the Trendliest admit sometimes the things that we consider downright trendly can seem so absolutely crazy that it might prompt readers to think we’re just pulling their leg. Fortunately, every once in awhile our knack for sniffing out what’s hot gets the affirmation it so deserves in the form of a news story.

This morning we were absolutely delighted to read about our latest social trend, Pranks, being put to good use by a top notch athlete at a prominent Kentucky University. This T.M.O.C. (Trendly Man on Campus) is none other than Murray State Quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt, who when in response to a dare from a teammate who offered him $20 (any amount of money is trendly) pushed a campus police officer and took his ticket book. While we previously didn’t state “dares” as trendly, the campus athletic director’s affirmation of the whole event being “a prank gone bad”, validates our previous post.

As a result, The Trendliest salutes Murray State Quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt…and hopes that he can avoid the potential 10 year prison term that goes along with being charged with 2nd Degree Robbery so that he can continue being Trendly in other ways, like perhaps playing the Clarinet.

April 14, 2008 Posted by | Trendliness In Action | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Trendliness in Action: Pranks- Jeff Ehrhardt

Hello Trend Trackers, We here at the Trendliest admit sometimes the things that we consider downright trendly can seem so absolutely crazy that it might prompt readers to think we’re just pulling their leg. Fortunately, every once in awhile our knack for sniffing out what’s hot gets the affirmation it so deserves in the form of a news story.

This morning we were absolutely delighted to read about our latest social trend, Pranks, being put to good use by a top notch athlete at a prominent Kentucky University. This T.M.O.C. (Trendly Man on Campus) is none other than Murray State Quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt, who when in response to a dare from a teammate who offered him $20 (any amount of money is trendly) pushed a campus police officer and took his ticket book. While we previously didn’t state “dares” as trendly, the campus athletic director’s affirmation of the whole event being “a prank gone bad”, validates our previous post.

As a result, The Trendliest salutes Murray State Quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt…and hopes that he can avoid the potential 10 year prison term that goes along with being charged with 2nd Degree Robbery so that he can continue being Trendly in other ways, like perhaps playing the Clarinet.

April 14, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Methods | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Know What Everyone Is Doing…All of the Time!!!


Hello my Trendlies, Are you doing something friendly and trendy right now? Well how about now? Even if it isn’t trendly, you should probably tell us what it is you’re up to. Why? Because knowing what everyone else is doing all of the time is unbelievably trendly. As you’re reading this I’m doing perhaps the trendliest thing of all, blogging. While blogging may be a hot new way to show a nation on the edge of it’s seat important photos of your cat, it can no way inform people as to your regular whereabouts and goings on. The fact of the matter is everyone wants to know what you’re up to whether you’re in a bathtub getting ready to pop out junior with your midwife, poisoning the water supply in Myanmar or just plain hangin’ out. To put it briefly, you’re not cool unless somebody knows you’re cool. Thanks to technological advances like super computers, cell phones and the Swiffer Sweeper, keeping eager stalkers constantly apprised of your goings on has never been easier.

Way back in 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue he forgot to tell his roommates he was even leaving the house and they were totally pissed when he ditched out without getting someone to sublet. It was four months before they knew he was gone and another two months before they were beheaded in a public square for not paying the full rent. If they could’ve checked his Facebox profile they would’ve seen the phrase “Christopher Columbus is out sailing for a few months” on his status update and put an ad up on Craigslist or on the town square bulletin board and avoided their subsequent guillotine rendezvous. Thanks to sites like Twitter and Tellmewhatyouredoingallofthetime.com this is so not a problem. These sites allow users to constantly give people the lowdown on what they’re up to by typing in their daily minutia into a browser so that you never have to exercise those pesky amenities known as their voice or their privacy ever again.

The trendliest people, a.k.a Celebrities, even have their own uber-exclusive telling everyone what they’re doing all the time service called TMZ.com. TMZ.com uses a complex system of stalkers with video and photo equipment aimed at the crotches of female celebrities to let the rest of the world know that celebrities never have underwear, always have genitalia, and sometimes go to the supermarket. Now that’s what we call trendly!

April 7, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Electronics, Social Trends, Technology | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment