The Trendliest

A Friendly Guide To The Latest Trends

The Accidental Terrorist

Odds are if you’re checking out this here site you’re on the hunt for something utterly friendly and trendy. You may also be wondering if there are trends you might have the good fortune to discover on your own. It would be easy for us to say no so that you might continue being absolutely dependant on us for finding out just what in the world is hop and hot, but the truth is there are some hot new fads you can stumble upon all by your self…the latest of which is being accidentally and irresponsibly labeled a “terrorist.”

While being accidentally labeled a terrorist goes as far back as the 1996 Olympics when Richard Jewell “bombed” a perfectly good Olympic venue all in the name of drawing the attention away from the fact that a Bulgarian, not an American participant captured three gold medals in weighlifting…the resurgence in the trend can be credited to the heinous attacks of September 11th. Since the government’s irresponsible handling of the events leading to an actual terrorist attack, they’ve stepped up efforts to compensate for the fact that they’re not doing enough for homeland security by making sure all bars have Toby Keith albums on their jukebox. Additionaly, the government has made efforts to raise public paranoia levels with the “if you see a brown person doing something, say something” slogan and their special hotline for reporting talkative cab drivers.

Rachael Ray Threatens Freedom With A Dynamite Coolatta

However, it’s not only poor brown people who’ve had the fortune of participating in this latest trend; Celebrities are also at the forefront of this fad. America’s Sweetest Pitchperson Rachael Ray was sent to Abu Ghraib after dressing up like Yasser Arafat in a Dunkin’ Donuts ad where she was then subject to the trendly practice of waterboarding. Even Presidential frontrunner Barack Obama and his wife aren’t immune to trendliness. The two were placed under heavy scrutiny after engaging in the “Al Qaeda Fist Bump” after a lively speech about overthrowing the current Republican regime.

The Friction from Said Fist Bump Usually Creates Explosions of Epic Proportions

Don’t be trend-orists…If the two most popular people in the greatest nation in the world are getting their accidental terrorism on…what are you waiting for? Shouldn’t you be arousing suspicion by leaving a suspicious package on the train that just so happens to look like your pocket book or maybe letting your oven burner run a bit before lighting a match to create a huge gas explosion in your house? Either of those would be da bomb, and totally trendly ways to arouse suspicion that you are in fact a terrorist.

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July 9, 2008 Posted by | Celebrities, Government, Methods, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Can Handle The Truth!

Hey Trend fans, it’s your favorite friendly neighborhood trendsetter, back again to tell you everything you’ve been dying to know about what’s so now. If you’ve been watching the news lately, you’ll know that one of the hot button topics is waterboarding. Never mind what waterboarding is, all you have to know is that it’s a hot button topic and what are hot button topics if not a mixture of friendly and trendy. The other important things you need to know about waterboarding are that it’s a great way to find out secrets and the government says it doesn’t qualify as torture.

Ladies is your best friend holding out on how that date last night went? Are you sure she went all the way but she’s refusing to kiss and tell? That slut! Sure you’ve got your connections and could always ask around or look for that diary you know she keeps, but why not go straight to the horses mouth and get answers by using a method condoned by the U.S. Government! After your friend gives up the goods, that time you waterboarded her is sure to be a hot button topic between the two of you, and as we discussed before, hot button topics are trendly!

March 21, 2008 Posted by | Current Events, Government, Methods | , , , | 1 Comment